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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, 

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UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 



PRICE FIFTEEN CENTS. 



DICK'S 



Little Speeches 



FOR 



Little Speakers 



NEW YORK 
DICK <fc FITZGERALD 



DICK'S 



LITTLE SPEECHES 



FOR 



LITTLE SPEAKERS 



CONTAINING 

/i CAREFULLY SELECTED COLLECTION OF SHORT AND EASY 

PIECES, SUITABLE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN 

AND LITTLE TOTS. 




y 



NEW YORK : 
DICK & FITZGERALD, 



1 8 ANN STREET. 



V 



COPTBIGHT, 1890, BY 

DICK & FITZGERALD, 

All rights reserved. 



CONTENTS. 



PAGE 

Ambition 57 

Baby 14 

Baby Sleeps 83 

Baby's First Tooth 54 

Baby's Reflections 20 

Bed in Summer . 71 

Boy's Opinion, A 65 

Boy's Rights 79 

Bravest Thing, The 59 

Catastrophe, A 44 

Cats' Serenade, The 51 

Caw ! Caw ! Caw ! 67 

Chatterbox 82 

Chickadee 63 

Child's Evening Prayer, A 47 

Child's Troubles, A 72 

Choice of a Trade ..... For ten boys 9 

Christmas Bells 60 

Conceited Grasshopper, the 53 

Concert Recitation, A 56 

Convalescent 70 

Decoration Day, For 60 



4 contents. 

Deeds of Kindness 86 

Deposed 19 

Did You Think to Pray ? 41 

Envy 82 

Epilogue 28, 36 

Falling Snow, The 35 

Forget-me-not, The 66 

Friends and Enemies 78 

General Grant 39 

Gfntle Child, The 37 

Gentle Hints 70 

George Washington . . . For five boys 50 

Girl who is always Good, The 38 

God Sees Me 90 

Good Advice to Talkers 76 

Good-Bye 87 

Good-Night 86 

Grateful Preacher, The 76 

Hands and Fingers 90 

Harry's Arithmetic 75 

If 3 2 

If I were You 87 

I'll Be a Man 28 

I'll Put it Off 62 

Innovation 81 

Jesus Knows 24 

Kitchen Clock, The 22 

Kitty's Birds 30 

Land of Counterpane, The 72 

Life's Maxims 66 

Light 32 



contents. 5 

Little Acts of Kindness 8 

Little Boy's First Recitation, A 46 

Little Boy's Lament, The 68 

Little Children 68 

Little Fellow's Declamation 60 

Little Peach, The 73 

Looking Forward 84 

Lulu Takes Care 17 

Maud Muller New version 26 

Memory Gems 46 

Motes and Mountains 74 

My Bed is a Boat 78 

My Kingdom 84 

New Book, A 8 

Nose out of Joint 61 

Old Rye's Speech 25 

Oration For a six year old boy. . 55 

Our Temperance Banner 89 

Outside the Fold 29 

Papa's Watch 37 

Patriotism 24 

Pet and Her Cat 12 

Pretty is That Pretty Does 52 

Princess Fuzz , 40 

Prologue 7, 15 

Ready for a Kiss 43 

Reminding the Hen 18 

Salutatory 42 

Song of the Winds, The . 48 

Speeches for Little Boys I 9, 33, 31, 58 

Speeches for Little Girls 16, 21 



6 contents. 

Speeches for Tots 38, 43 

Spelling in the Nursery 64 

Sun's Travels, The . . 75 

Temperance Address 57 

Temperance Speech 31, 41 

Tom's Eyes and Mine 58 

Truth 69 

Two Monks and the Pilgrim, The 80 

Valedictory 77 

We Little Boys 22 

Well Spent Sunday, The 67 

When Santa Claus Comes 34 

Which Loved Best ? 31 

Whole Duty of Children, The 68 

Willie's Tears 85 

Winter Jewels. 74 

Wonderful Weaver, The 45 

Young Night Thought 88 



LITTLE SPEECHES 

FOR 

LITTLE SPEAKERS. 



PROLOGUE. 

FOR A CHILD. 



You must not mind my being so small. A 
great oak-tree was once only a little acorn, and 
the biggest Shanghai rooster you ever saw came 
out of a little egg. A big fire can grow out of a 
little spark, and a good deal can be said by a 
little one like me. Did you ever see a magician 
take funny things out of a hat, enough to cover 
a big table ? I can do more than that. Out of 
my little mouth I can shout enough welcome to 
fill this Hall. {Raises voice) Welcome, dear 
friends ; Welcome, all ! 



LITTLE SPEECHES 



A NEW BOOK. 



When I am very big and old, 

I'll write a book, all bound in gold. 

These are the things of which I think 
I'll write about with pen and ink. 

My dickey-bird in his nice cage, 
I'll write about him on one page. 

I'll tell about my pussy cat, 
Who goes to sleep upon the mat. 

About the flowers that come and go 
In my garden where they grow. 

The other boys and girls I tell 
Of mother dear, I love so well. 

I'll write a book, all bound in gold, 
When I'm a big man — five years old ! 



LITTLE ACTS OF KINDNESS. 

Little acts of kindness, 
Like a summer flower, 

Brighten many a weary face, 
Soothe a lonely hour. 

Hearts are full of sorrow, 

Faces pale and sad : 
We can bring them sunshine, 

We can make them glad 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 



Let us seek to scatter, 
Let us seek to sow 

Little seeds of kindness 
Everywhere we go. 



CHOICE OF TRADE. 

A RECITATION FOR LITTLE BOYS. 

From the "Popular Educator." 

(Each Speaker mimics the motions he describes.) 

FIRST BOY. 

When I'm a man, a man, 
(I'll be a farmer, if I can — and I can! 

I'll plow the ground, and the seed I'll sow ; 
I'll reap the grain, and the grass I'll mow ; 
I'll bind the sheaves, and I'll rake the hay, 
And pitch it up on the mow away, 
When I'm a man. 

SECOND BOY. 

When I'm a man, a man, 
I'll be a carpenter, if I can — and I can! 
I'll plane like this, and I'll hammer so, 
And this is the way my saw shall go. 
I'll make bird-houses, and sleds and boats, 
And a ship that shall race every craft that floats, 
When I'm a man. 



10 LITTLE SPEECHES 

THIRD BOY. 

When I'm a man, a man, 
A blacksmith I'll be, if I can — and I can ! 
Clang, clang, clang, shall my anvil ring, 
And this is the way the blows I'll swing. 
I'll shoe your horse, sir, neat and tight, 
Then I'll trot round the square to see if it's 
right, 

When I'm a man. 

FOURTH BOY. 

When I'm a man, a man, 
A mason I'll be, if I can — and I can! 

I'll lay a brick this way, and lay one that, 
Then take my trowel and smooth them flat ; 
Great chimneys I'll make ; I think I'll be able 
To build one as high as the tower of Babel, 
When I'm a man. 

FIFTH BOY. 

When I'm a man, a man, 
I'll be a shoemaker, if I can — and I can! 
I'll sit on a bench, with my last held so, 
And in and out shall my needles go. 
I'll sew so strong and my work shall wear, 
Till nothing is left but my stitches there, 
When I'm a man. 

SIXTH BOY. 

When I'm a man, a man, 
A doctor I'll be, if I can — and I can! 

My powders and pills shall be nice and sweet, 
And you shall have just what you like to eat ; 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 11 

I'll prescribe for your riding, and sailing, and 

such ; 
And 'bove all things you never must study too 

much, 

When I'm a man. 

SEVENTH BOY. 

When I'm a man, a man, 
I'll be a minister, if I can — and I can! 
And once in a while a sermon I'll make 
That will keep little boys and girls awake ; 
For ah, dear me ! if the ministers knew 
How glad we are when they get through ! — 
When I'm a man. 

EIGHTH BOY. 

When I'm a man, a man, 
A teacher I'll be, if I can — and I can! 

I'll sing to my scholars, fine stories I'll tell ; 
I'll show them pictures, and, well — oh ! well, 
They shall have some lessons — I s'pose they 

ought ; 
But, oh, I shall make them so very short, 
When I'm a man. 

NINTH BOY. 

When I'm a man, a man, 

I'll be a school committee, if I can — and I can! 
'Bout once a week I'll come into school, 
And say " Miss Teacher, Fve made a rule 

That boys and girls need a lot of play ; 



12 LITTLE SPEECHES 

You may give these children a holiday ! " — 
When I'm a man. 

TENTH BOY. 

When I'm a man, a man, 
I'll be a president, if I can — and I can! 
My uncles and aunts are a jolly set, 
And I'll have them all in my cabinet, 
I shall live in the White House ; and I hope 

you all, 
When you hear I'm elected, will give me a call, 
When I'm a man. 

ALL IN CONCERT. 

When we are men, are men, 
I hope we shall do great things ; and then, 
Whatever we do, this thing we say, 
We'll do our work in the very best way ; 
And you shall see, if you know us then, 
We'll be good, and honest, and useful men — 
When we are men. 



PET AND HER CAT. 

From ** Harper s Young People." 

Now, pussy, I've something to tell you : 
You know it is New Year's day ; 
The big folks are down in the parlor, 
And mamma is just gone away. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 13 

We are all alone in the nursery, 
And I want to talk to you, dear ; 
So you must come and sit by me, 
And make believe you hear. 

You see, there's a new year coming — 
It only begins to-day. 
Do you know I was often naughty 
In the year that is gone away ? 

You know I have some bad habits, 
I'll mention just one or two ; 
But there really is quite a number 
Of naughty things that I do. 

You see, I don't learn my lessons, 
And oh ! I do hate them so ; 
I doubt if I know any mora to-day 
Than I did a year ago. 

Perhaps I am awfully stupid ; 
They say I'm a dreadful dunce. 
How would you like to learn spelling ? 
I wish you could try it once. 

And don't you remember Christmas — 
'Twas naughty, I must confess — 
But while I was eating dinner 
I got two spots on my dress. 

And they caught me stealing the sugar; 
But I only got two little bits, 
When they found me there in the closet, 
And frightened me out of my wits. 



14 LITTLE SPEECHES 

And, pussy, when people scold me, 
I'm always so sulky then ; 
If they only would tell me gently, 
I never would do it again. 

Oh, pussy, I know I was naughty, 
And often it makes me cry; 
I think it would count for something, 
If they knew how hard I try. 

But I'll try again in the new year, 
And oh, I shall be so glad 
If I only can be a good little girl, 
And never do anything bad ! 



BABY. 

GEORGE MACDONALD 

Where did you come from, baby dear ? 
Out of the everywhere into here. 

Where did you get those eyes so blue ? 
Out of the sky as I came through. 

What makes the light in them sparkle and 

spin ? 
Some of the starry spokes left in. 

Where did you get that little tear ? 
I found it waiting when I got here. 

What makes your forehead so smooth and high ? 
A soft hand stroked it as I went by. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 15 

What makes your cheek like a warm white rose? 

I saw something better than any one knows. 

Whence that three-cornered smile of bliss ? 

Three angels gave me at once a kiss. 

Where did you get this pearly ear ? 

God spoke, and it came out to hear. 

Where did you get those arms and hands ? 

Love made itself into bonds and bands. 

Feet, whence did you come, you darling things ? 

From the same box as the cherubs' wings. 

How did they all come to be you ? 

God thought about me, and so I grew. 

But how did you come to us, you dear ? 

God thought about you, and so I am here. 



PROLOGUE. 



Ladies and Gentlemen : — You need not shud- 
der in anticipation. I'm not going to make a 
speech ; it is only girls and Italian organ-grind- 
ers who like to have their ears bored, and in the 
name of humanity, I will save you all the in- 
fliction. 

My sole object is to bid you, in the name of 
all who intend to do their best to amuse }^ou 
this evening, a right, hearty welcome. 

Those of you who come out of pure curiosity 
to see and hear what boys and girls can do, if 



16 LITTLE SPEECHES 

they try, are very welcome, and we hope they 
will not go away disappointed. 

Those, who come to encourage us by their 
presence, and have paid for their tickets, are 
still more welcome. 

Those, who have come with the determination 
to be amused ; who are willing to make allow- 
ance for all our defects and short-comings, and 
favor us with their hearty applause, are the 
most welcome of all. 

Those, who, like Galleo, care for none of 
these things, and come here because — well, per- 
haps they don't know why, themselves ; we 
welcome them also. And if they feel dissatisfied 
at the close of the performance, they are entirely 
welcome to ask for their money back, — but they 
won't get it. Once more, kind friends, we bid 
you all "Welcome!" 



SPEECH. 

FOR A YOUNG GIRL. 

I never made a speech before, 
But that's no reason why, 

Because I never spoke before, 
I ought not now to try. 

There are some silly little girls 
Who are afraid to speak, 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 17 

For fear that some will laugh at them; 
I think this very weak. 

I hope I'll always have the sense 

To do as I am told; 
Then people will not laugh at me 

Or think I am too bold. 



LTJLTJ TAKES CABE. 

They brushed the clothes all clean 

One sunny April day — 
Their winter fc clothes I mean — 

They packed them all away 
In paper boxes, tied around 

With very strongest strings, 
First freely sprinkling them with some 
Tobacco dust and camphor gum, 

And other sneezy things. 

And when, their labor done, they ate 

Their tea and toasted bread, 
"Why, where is Kitty?" some one asked, 

And " I know", Lulu said ; 
" She's in my dolly's biggest trunk ; 

I brushed and beated her ; 
There c^n't not any moths, I dess, 

Det into her nice fur. 
She scratched my finger when I put 

The camphor stuff about. 



18 LITTLE SPEECHES 

Div' me some toast that's buttered froo ! " 
They left it all to her, and flew 
To let poor Kitty out. 



REMINDING THE HEN. 

{The speaker should mimic hen-language when it 
occurs?) 

" It's well I ran into the garden," 

Said Eddie, his face all aglow; 
" For what do you think, mamma, happened ? 

You never will guess it, I know. 

"The little brown hen was there clucking; 

' Cut-cut ! ' she'd say, quick as a wink, 
Then ' cut-cut !' again, only slower; 

And then she would stop short and think. 

"And then she would say it all over, 
She did look so mad and so vexed ; 

For, mamma, do you know she'd forgotten 
The word that she ought to cluck next. 

" So I said, ' Ca-dah-cut, ca-dah-cut,' 

As loud^and as strong as I could, 
And she looked round at me very thankful; 

I tell you it made her feel good. 

" Then she flapped and said, ' Cut-cut-ca-dah-cut;' 
She remembered just how it went then. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 19 

But it's well I ran into the garden, — 
She might never have clucked right again ! " 



SPEECH. 

FOR A VERY SMALL BOY. 

George Washington was once a boy, 
And had to learn to spell; 

They say he was his father's joy, 
And that he learned right well. 

He never spoke a lie, I'm told, 
No matter where he went, 

And by behaving good and bold 
Became our President ! 

Then who can tell but that I may 

Become as great as he ? 
And if I do, I hope that day 

You all may live to see. 



DEPOSED. 



I'se a poor 'ittle sowwowful body, 
An' B'idget's away down 'tairs; 



20 LITTLE SPEECHES 

De kitten have scotched my finger, 

An' my dolly 'on't say her pwayers ! 
I'se jus' dot a 'ittle new buzzer — 

Dod jus' sent him down tozzer day — 
He kies and he kies so dwedful, 

I 'iss Dod 'ood take him away ! 
I ain't seen my bootiful mamma 

Since ever so Ion' adoe, 
An' I ain't her own darlin'est baby — 

No londer, 'tause B'idget says so. 
I'se a poor 'ittle sowwowful body, 

An' B'idget's away down 'tairs; 
De kitten have sc'atched my finger, 

An' my Dolly 'on't say her pwayers ! 



A BABTS REFLECTIONS. 

From the London "Figaro" 

I'm a very little baby, 

Little face and hands and feet, 
And my mother says she never 

Saw a baby half so sweet. 
It is nice to hear them talking 

In that way, but I can see, 
Oh, a lot of little babies 

Who all look and laugh like me. 
When I look out of the window 

There's a baby in the glass, 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 21 

And he waves his hand as I do 

To the people as they pass; 
When I put out hands to touch him 

And to pat him on the cheek, 
He will look and act as I do, 

But he'll never, never speak. 
There's a baby in the mirror, 

There's a baby in the spoon, 
And there's one in front of mother 

When we play a little tune. 
These are very funny babies; 

Where I go they always come, 
But I never hear them talking, 

So I guess they're deaf and dumb. 



A LITTLE GIRL'S SPEECH. 

For older ones to speak a piece 

Must be an easy task; 
And of a little girl like me 

'Tis not too much to ask. 

I have to read, and write, and spell, 

And say my tables, too; 
And now you hear my little piece, 

The best that I can do. 

But when I am a woman grown, 

If you'll come back some day, 

I'll speak for you a longer piece 



LITTLE SPEECHES 



Before I run away; 
For then, you know, I'll want to talk, 
But now I want to play. 



WE LITTLE BOYS. 

If older boys can make a speech, 

We little boys can too; 
And though we do not say so much, 

Yet we've a word for you. 

This world is large and full of room, 

There is a place for all; 
The rich, the poor, the wise, the good, 

The large as well as small. 

So give the little ones a chance 
To show off what they know, 

And shun us not because we're small, 
For little boys will grow. 



THE KITCHEN CLOCK 

R. V. CHENEY. 
A PATTER RECITATION. 

Knitting is the maid of the kitchen, Milly ; 
Doing nothing sits the chore-boy, Billy ; 
"Seconds reckoned, 
Seconds reckoned ; 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 23 

Every minute, 
Sixty in it. 

Milly, Billy, I 

Billy, Milly, 
Tick-tock, tock-tick. 
Nick-knock, knock-nick, 
Knockety-nick, nickety-knock," 
Goes the kitchen clock. 

Closer to the fire is rosy Milly, 

Every whit as close and cosy, Billy ; 

"Time's a-flying, 

Worth your trying ; 

Pretty Milly— 

Kiss her, Billy ! 

Milly, Billy, 

Billy, Milly, 

Tick-tock, tock-tick, 

Now — now, quick, quick ! 

Knockety-nick, nickety-knock," 

Goes the kitchen clock. 
Something's happened ; very red is Milly ; 
Billy boy is looking very silly ; 
" Pretty misses, 
Plenty kisses ; 
Make it twenty, 
Take a plenty. 
Billy-Milly, 
Milly-Billy, 
Right-left, left-right, 
That's right, all right. 



24 LITTLE SPEECHES 

Skippety-nick, rippety-knock," 
Jumps the kitchen clock. 



PATRIOTISM. 



SIR WALTER SCOTT. 

Breathes there the man with soul so dead 
Who never to himself hath said : 

This is my own, my native land ! 
Whose heart hath ne'er within him burned, 
As home his footsteps he hath turned 

From wandering on a foreign strand ? 
If such there breathe, go, mark him well ; ' 
For him no minstrel raptures swell ; 
High though his titles, power and name, 
Boundless his wealth as wish can claim ; 
Despite those titles, power and pelf, 
The wretch, concentred all in self, 
Living, shall forfeit fair renown, 
And, doubly dying, shall go down 
To the vile dust from whence he sprung — 
Unwept, unhonored, and unsung. 



JESTIS KNOWS. 



All our little heart aches, 
All our joys and woes, 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 25 

All our hopes and wishes, 
Jesus says He knows. 

And our every action 

Is to Jesus known, 
From the time we're little, 

Till we're fully grown. 

When we play or study, 

When we wake or sleep, 
He delights to bless us, 

And His children keep. 

He will always guide us, 

Listen to our prayers ; 
For the loving Saviour 

For His children cares. 



OLD RYE'S SPEECH. 

FOR A LITTLE BOY DECORATED WITH GRAIN. 

I was made to be eaten, 

And not to be drank j 
To be threshed in a barn, 

Not soaked in a tank. 

I come as a blessing 

When put through a mill ; 

As a blight and a curse 
When run through a still. 



26 LITTLE SPEECHES 

Make me up into loaves 

And your children are fed; 

But if into drink, 

I will starve them instead. 

In bread I'm a servant, 
The eater shall rule ; 

In drink I am master, 
The drinker a fool. 

Then remember the warning, 
My strength I'll employ — 

If eaten to strengthen^ 
If drank to destroy. 



MATID MULLER. 

A NEW VERSION. 



Maud Muller on von schummer day 
Dings she go out und pitch some hay. 

Under her hat midout some brim 

She saw dot schudge uud schmiles at him> 

He rides him down de lane dot day, 
Und Maud was pitchen mit dot hay. 

He does not know not mooch to talk, 
Und he vonders to see Maud Muller valk 

Mid all dose stubble und her bare feet, 
So nice she look und smile so schweet. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 27 

So he rides him oop close to dot vence 
Und dings shoost vat he moost gommence. 
Maud Muller stopped von bit or so 
To bick von brier from her pig toe. 
She saw dot schudge stop by dot road, 
Und Hans drive off mid a vagon load. 
So soon she leans on dot fork pitch, 
Dot schudge geds off und his mule hitch. 
Und den he says he dings it rains, 
Und dalks of vedder und rooster vanes. 
Und ven Hans cooms und load to get 
She stands dare mit dot pitchfork yet. 
At last, like von dat vants more peer, 
Dot schudge he rides avay mid here. 
Maud Muller looked und said, " I vow 
It would be nice to be his frow. 
"He geds me den some Grecian bendt, 
Und ear-rings vot cosd fifty cent. 
" Und den I tings we have mooch peer, 
Und not no more I hay pitch here." 

Dot schudge he dings ven he get away 
Dot Deutscher girl mid barefoot hay, 

She would be shtout to do some chores 
Ven it's doo bad to go out doors. 

He took von frow who got some tin, 
Und Maud she cooms und vork for him. 

Und Hans he never forgets dot day, 

For dot rain cooms down und spoils dot hay. 



28 LITTLE SPEECHES 

I'LL BE A MAN. 

I'm but a little fellow now, 
Between three feet and four, 

But if I keep growing fast 
I'll soon be three feet more. 

A tippler I will never be, 
No drop my lips will pass, 

I'll sign the true teetotal pledge, 
And keep it to the last. 

With knowledge I must store my mind, 
For though I'm e'er so tall, 

If I am rude and ignorant 
I shall be very small. 



EPILOGUE. 



Dear papas and mammas, and brothers and 

sisters — 
And dozens on dozens of misses and misters,— 
My speech, I've no doubt, you will hail with 

delight, 
When I say I'm the last little speaker to-night. 
But remember, you big, grown-up folks, one 

and all 
Were once just like us, — just as young, — just as 

small. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 29 

If we cannot do much, — if our voices are weak, 

We at least do our best when our pieces we 
speak. 

Though our actions be faulty, our words full 
of flaws, 

We have tried to amuse you and win your 
applause. 

Won't you give it us ? Surely, 'twould only 
be right ; 

You can give it us now, as I bid you " good- 
night." 



OUTSIDE THE FOLD. 



EDWARD WILLETT. 



Weak and sinful as I am, 

One hope I hold ; 
Jesus will not leave His lamb 

Outside the fold ; 

Though I chance to slip or stray, 

As children will, 
Jesus' eye, by night or day, 

Beholds me still. 

He will save me yet from sin 

And all its harms, 
Holding, folding me within 

His loving arms. 



30 LITTLE SPEECHES 

Though I blindly lose my way 

In night and cold, 
Jesus will not let me stay 

Outside the fold. 



KITTY'S BIRD'S. 



FOR A LITTLE GIRL. 



ANNIE CHASE. 



We birdies once loved little Kitty, 

She never wears a frown ; 
Her hair is curling and golden, 

Her eyes are a beautiful brown. 
We fly down one day to her window — 

She feeds us there sometimes with crumbs — 
And all of us think, " We're so hungry, 

We'll wait here till Miss Kitty comes." 
We all peep in at the window; 

There's her dress and — mercy ! what's that ? 
A poor, dear, dead, little birdie 

Sewed on to the crown of her hat. 
Away we all fly in a twinkling, 

We used to think Kitty was kind, 
But since we peeped at her new bonnet 

Every birdie has altered his mind. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 31 

TEMPERANCE SPEECH. 

Oh ! ask me not to take the cup ; 

Within it lurks a foe ; 
If I should drink its contents up, 

'Twould surely bring me woe. 

Hence, when I am asked by friends to drink, 

The lure I will forego ; 
I'll pause, and of the pledge I'll think, 

Then firmly answer NO ! 



WHICH LOVED BEST? 

"I love you, mother," said little John ; 
Then forgetting his word, his cap went on, 
And he was off to the garden swing, 
And left her wood and water to bring 

" I love you, mother," said Rosy Nell ; 
" I love you better than tongue can tell." 
Then she teased and pouted full half a day, 
Till her mother rejoiced when she went to play. 

"I love you, mother," said little Fan; 
" To-day I'll help you all I can. 
How glad I am that school doesn't keep ! " 
So the baby she rocked till it fell asleep. 

Then stepping softly, she brought a broom, 
And swept the floor and tidied the room ; 



32 LITTLE SPEECHES 

Busy and happy all day was she, 
Helpful and happy as child could be. 

" I love you, mother," again they said — 
Three little children going to bed. 
How do you think that mother guessed 
Which of them really loved her best ? 



LIGHT. 

F. W. BOURDILLON. 

The night has a thousand eyes, 

And the day but one ; 
Yet the light of the bright world dies 

With the dying sun. 

The mind has a thousand eyes, 

And the heart but one; 
Yet the light of a whole life dies 

When love is done. 



" I F." 

If I had been made a rooster, 
Of course I could only crow ; 

If I were a chicken or a hen, 
I'd have to cackle, you know. 

If I had been made a pussy cat, 
I could only say, " Mew, mew ; " 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 83 

If I were a dog, to bark and howl 
Would be all that I could do. 

But do you see ? I am none of these ; 

I'm a little talking girl, 
And mother says that every word 

From my lips should be a pearl — 

Bright and polished with cheery tones, 

And set in a loving smile. 
Think of the pearls in a single day — 

For I'm talking all the while ! 



SPEECH. 

FOR A LITTLE BOY. 

SYLVIA MANNING. 
From the "Popular Educator" 

I'm going to be a wise man, 
As you may plainly see ; 
If I do all the good I can, 
There'll be a place for me. 

I know that I am very small, 
I'm scarcely three feet high : 
But, then, when I am big and tall, 
Won't I be smart? Oh, my! 

So, then, I must my lessons get, 
My teachers kind obey; 



34 LITTLE SPEECHES 

I never must get cross and fret, 
But pleasant be each day. 

Wishing that we may all do right, 
I ask to be excused ; 
I'll bid you all a kind good-night, 
Hoping you've been amused. 



WHEN SANTA CLAUS COMES. 

A good time is coming — I wish it were here, 
The very best time in the whole of the year. 
I'm counting each day on my fingers and thumbs, 
The week that must pass before Santa Claus 
comes. 

Good-by for a while, then, to lessons and school ; 
We can laugh, talk and sing without breaking 

the rule ; 
No troublesome spelling, nor writing, nor sums ; 
There's nothing but playtime when Santa Claus 

comes. 

I suppose I shall have a new dolly, of course ; 
My last one was killed by a fall from her horse, 
And for Harry and Jack there '11 be trumpets 

and drums^ 
To deafen us all with, when Santa Claus comes. 

I'll hang up my stocking to hold what he 

brings ; 
I hope he will fill it with lots of nice things. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 35 

He must know how dearly I love sugar plums, 
And like a big box full when Santa Claus 
comes. 

And now that the snow-flakes begin to come 

down, 
And the wind whistles sharp and the branches 

are brown, 
I don't mind the cold, that my fingers benumbs, 
For it brings the time nearer when Santa Claus 

comes. 



THE FALLING SNOW. 

See the pretty snow-flakes 
Falling from the sky ! 

On the walls and house-tops 
Soft and thick they lie. 

On the window-ledges, 
On the branches bare, 

See how fast they gather, 
Filling all the air. 

Look into the garden, 

Where the grass was green ; 
Covered now by snow-flakes, 

Not a blade is seen. 



36 LITTLE SPEECHES 

Now the bare black bushes 

All look soft and white ; 
Every twig snow-laden, 

What a pretty sight ! 
Don't forget the birdies, 

Now that winter comes; 
Pitying their hunger, 

Scatter out your crumbs. 
Think, too, in the winter, 

Of the hungry poor ; 
Let them find a welcome 

When coming to your door 



EPILOGUE. 



And now, dear friends, our task is done. 

We've done our prettiest, every one. 

We've tried each other to excel, 

And hope you think we've all done well. 

It's hard for little ones like us 

To learn our pieces, verse for verse. 

We're young, but as we older get 

We'll try to learn them better yet. 

Now, all who think we've earned your praise, 

Be kind enough right hands to raise. 

Oh ! what a lot of hands ! That's right ! 

Thanks for your kindness— Friends, good-night! 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 37 

A SHORT SPEECH. 

FOR A VERY LITTLE BOY. 

A big boy could stand up here 

And say a lot to you, 
But I am so very small 

I don't know what to do ; 
So if you will pass me by, 

And wait till I am older, 
Then I'll speak a piece to you, 

For I shall be much bolder. 



THE GENTLE CHILD. 

The gentle child, who lives to please, 
Who will not quarrel, fret, nor tease, 
And never says an angry word, — 
That child is pleasing to the Lord. 



PAPA'S WATCH. 



Oh ! no, 'tisn't so ! 

Papa's watch won't go ? 

It must go — guess I know ! 

Last night I wound it tight, 

And greased it nice with camphor-ice. 



38 LITTLE SPEECHES 

SPEECH. 

FOR A VERY LITTLE CHILD. 

I've been to school, 
And learned to spell ; 

Fve said my lessons 
Quick and well. 

And now I'm glad 
That school is done, 

So I can play 

And have some fun. 



THE GIRL WHO IS ALWAYS GOOD. 

She never sighs ; 

She never grumbles ; 
She never cries 

When down she tumbles 

She never soils 

Her pretty dresses ; 
She never spoils 

Her silken tresses. 

With cap on head, 

And wee hands folded, 

She's put to bed, 
And never scolded. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 39 

Oh, she's a pearl ! 

No mischief scheming ; 
There's such a girl, — 

Don't think I'm dreaming. 

But not to tell 

Her name were folly ; 
You know her well, 

For she's your dolly ! 



GENERAL GRANT. 

A DECLAMATION. 



Had Grant died at the tan-yard, or from behind 
the counter, the world would never have sus- 
pected that it had lost a hero. He would have 
fallen as an undistinguishable leaf among the 
millions cast down every year. His time had 
not come — but it was coming ! Already the 
clouds afar off were gathering. He saw them 
not. No figures were seen upon the dim horizon 
of the already near future. The insulted flag ; 
the garments rolled in blood ; a million men in 
arms ; the sulphurous smoke of battle ; gory 
heaps upon desperate battle-fields ; an army of 
slowly-moving, crippled heroes ; grave-yards 
populous as cities ; they were all in the clouded 
horizon, though he saw them not ! 



40 LITTLE SPEECHES 

Into this sulphurous storm of war Grant 
entered almost unknown. In four years he had 
risen, without political favor, from the bottom 
to the highest command — not second to any- 
living commander in all the world ! But he 
fought not for reputation, nor for the display of 
generalship, nor for a future presidency. He 
had but one motive, and that as intense as life 
itself — the subjugation of the rebellion and the 
restoration of the broken Union. Every step 
from Donelson to Appomattox evinced with 
increasing intensity this his one terrible purpose. 
He never wavered, turned aside or dallied. He 
waded through blood to the horses' bridles. He 
had the patience of Fate and the force of Thor. 
At the same time, he seems to have been the 
only man in camp who was ignorant of his own 
greatness. He rests in peace. No drum or 
cannon can disturb his rest. Sleep, hero, until 
another trump shall shake the heavens and the 
earth. 



PRINCESS FUZZ. 



Tis said "Fine feathers make fine birds"; 
No doubt we must believe the words. 

But, "Handsome is that handsome does," 
Though all can't dress like Princess Fuzz. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 41 

Fine dress is well ; but don't be vain, 
Like Princess Fuzz in her disdain. 

Of all the jewels 'neath the sun, 
None can be brighter than this one, — 

A loving heart and willing hand, 
Not dress, make friends in every land. 



DID YOU THINK TO PRAY? 

Ere you left the room this morning, 

Did you think to pray ? 
In the name of Christ our Savior, 
Did you sue for loving favor, 

As a shield to-day ? 

When your heart was filled with anger, 

Did you think to pray ? 
Did you plead for grace, my brother, 
That you might forgive another 

Who had crossed your way ? 



A SHORT TEMPERANCE SPEECH. 

I do not think it best 

To wait till I'm a man, 
But sign the temperance pledge 

As early as I can. 



42 LITTLE SPEECHES 

Let's be teetotal boys 

Till we grow up, and then, 

Tis my opinion, with God's help, 
We'll be teetotal men. 



SALUTATORY. 

L. CROSBY. 
FOR A SMALL BOY OR GIRL. 
From the "Popular Educator" 

A welcome, friends, assembled here, 

To this, our exhibition ! 
Your every hope to satisfy 

Is all of our ambition. 

We know our talent is but small 

In lessons or in speeches, 
Yet we will try to entertain 

Far as our knowledge reaches. 

The boys and girls, both, I believe, 
In speaking take great pleasure, 

And many have a speech prepared 
To please you in a measure. 

And now we trust you will be pleased, 

Excuse equivocation, 
For, friends, you know I yet am young 

To make a great oration. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 43 

And many of my schoolmates here 

In this art rank much higher ; 
So, friends, I leave the floor to them, 

And beg leave to retire. 



SPEECH. 

FOR A VERY SMALL CHILD. 

I am my papa's little pet ; 

I love my book right well ; 
I hope, before another year, 

I'll learn to read and spell. 



READY FOR A KISS. 

Mamma, I'se been washin' — 

Don't you see I has ? 
Curled my hair my own se'f, 

Sweetest ever was ! 
Nozzer time I was not 

Half so nice as this — 
See, I'se fixed up, mamma, 

Ready for a kiss ! 

Johnny's having trouble — 
Dreffle trouble, too — 

Birds'-eggs in his pocket 
Keeps a-coming froo ! 



44 LITTLE SPEECHES 

I ain't a dirty baby — 
Does you think I is ? 

Fse your little Taddie, 
Ready for a kiss ! 



A CATASTROPHE. 

PELEG ARKWRIGHT 

No human being who saw that sight 

But felt a shudder of pale affright. 

He sat in a window three stories high, 

A little baby, with no one nigh. 

A stranger saw him, and stopped to stare ; 

A crowd soon gathered to watch him there. 

A gleam — a nutter ! in airy flight, 

Came past the window a butterfly bright. 

From fields of clover and perfumed air, 

Wayfaring insect, what brought you there ? 

The baby saw it, and eagerly 

Reached out to catch it, crowing with glee. 

With fat, pink fingers reached out — and fell ! 
The awful horror, no tongue can tell. 
Poor little baby — so sweet and bright ! 
Pale faces quivered and lips grew white ; 
Weak women fainted, strong men grew weak, 
Up rose one woman's heart-piercing shriek. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 45 

Hurrah for the awning ! Upon the fly 
It caught the youngster and tossed him high. 
The bounce prodigious made baby scowl ; 
He caught his breath, sir, and set up a howl. 
All blessed the awning that had no flaw ; — 
But a madder baby you never saw ! 



THE WONDERFUL WEAVER. 

Fro??i the "Popular Educator." 

There's a wonderful weaver 

High up in the air, 
And he weaves a white mantle 

For cold earth to wear. 
With the wind for his shuttle, 

The cloud for his loom, 
How he weaves, how he weaves, 

In the light, in the gloom ! 

Oh ! with finest of laces 

He decks bush and tree ; 
On the bare, flinty meadows 

A cover lays he. 
Then a quaint cap he places 

On pillar and post ; 
And he changes the pump 

To a grim, silent ghost. 



46 LITTLE SPEECHES 

But this wonderful weaver 

Grows weary at last, 
And the shuttle lies idle 

That once flew so fast. 
Then the sun peeps abroad 

On the work that is done ; 
And he smiles, " I'll unravel 

It all, just for fun !" 



MEMORY GEMS. 



Good boys and girls should never say. 

" I will ! " and " Give me these ! " 
Oh, no ! that never is the way; 

But, " Mother, if you please." 
And, " If you please," to sister Ann, 

Good boys to say are ready; 
And "Yes, sir/' to a gentleman, 

And " Yes, ma'am," to a lady. 



A LITTLE BOYS FIRST RECITATION. 

I think it's not an easy task 

To speak a piece in school, 
But still I do not wish to ask 

To be excused the rule. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 47 

For little boys must some day take 

The places of the men, 
And if they would good speakers make, 

Must try and try again. 

This be our motto ; and now here 

I'll close my little rhyme, 
Hoping should I again appear 

To better do next time. 



A CHILD'S EVENING PRAYER. 

MARY L. DUNCAN. 

Jesus, tender Shepherd, hear me ! 

Bless Thy little lamb to-night ; 
Through the darkness be Thou near me, 

Watch my sleep till morning light. 

All the day Thy hand has led me, 
And I thank Thee for Thy care ; 

Thou hast clothed me, warmed and fed me ; 
Listen to my evening prayer. 

Let my sins be all forgiven, 

Bless the friends I love so well ; 

Take me, when I die, to Heaven, 
Happy there with Thee to dwell ! 



48 LITTLE SPEECHES 

THE SONG OF THE WINDS. 

L. R. ALLIN. 
From thi lt Popular Educator ■." 

FOR FOUR LITTLE GIRLS. 

(Dressed to personify the four seasons.) 

FIRST GIRL. 

I am the East wind, 

Bringing the showers 
To water the violets 

And sweet woodland flowers. 

I waft the robin 

Back to his nest, 
I wake the earth up 

From its long rest. 

I sigh through the tree-tops, 

A soft little breeze ; 
I'm the breath of the spring-time 

That calls back the leaves. 

SECOND GIRL. 

I am the South wind, 

Summer I bring, 
Wherever I wander 

Sweet .perfumes I fling. 

I wave the long grasses 
And shake out the seeds, 

I play by the river 
Among the tall reeds. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 49 

I rock the wee birdies 

Asleep in their nest, 
I ruffle the feathers 

On the mother-bird's breast. 

THIRD GIRL. 

I am the West wind, 

I blow through the year, 
But I am happiest 

When autumn is here. 

On clear, frosty mornings 

I blow through the trees, 
I shake each tiny twig 

And away whirl the leaves. 

I shake down the walnuts, 

And chestnuts too, 
To feed the squirrels 

The long winter through. 

FOURTH GIRL. 

Out from the icy north 

I fill the sky 
With sleet and with snow, 

For the North-wind am I ! 

My breath is the hoar-frost, 

The ice fills the river, 
I make all the alders 

Rustle and shiver ! 

And the white snowflakes 
As downward they fly, 



50 LITTLE SPEECHES 

I whirl them and toss them 
And heap them up high. 



GEORGE WASHINGTON. 

From the "Popular Educator" 
A RECITATION FOR FIVE SMALL BOYS. 

(Let each boy hold in his right hand a card with date, 
lifting it high during his recitation.) 

1732. 
In seventeen hundred thirty-two 

George Washington was born ; 
Truth, goodness, skill and glory high, 

His whole life did adorn. 

1775. 
In seventeen hundred seventy-five, 

The chief command he took 
Of all the army in the State, 

Who ne'er his flag forsook: 

1783. 
In seventeen hundred eighty-three, 

Retired to private life ; 
He saw his much-loved country free 

From battle and from strife. 

1789. 
In seventeen hundred eighty-nine 
The country, with one voice, 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 51 

Proclaimed him President, to shine, 
Blessed by the people's choice. 

1799. 
In seventeen hundred ninty-nine 

The Nation's tears were shed, 
To see the Patriot life resign, 

And sleep among the dead 

ALL. 

As " first in war, and first in peace ", 

As patriot, father, friend, — 
He will be blessed till time shall cease, 

And earthly life shall end. 



THE CATS' SERENADE. 

Three little Tom-cats went out for a spree, 
And they climbed on the kitchen tiles, 

And they joined in a very unmusical glee, 
All singing in different styles. 

One high, one low, they squealed and strained, 

Each one in a different tune ; 
To look at their music, it must be explained, 

They'd only the light of the moon. 

Now just as their squalling had reached to its 
height 
A boot was thrown out with a yell, 
And the blackest Tom-cat he turned pale with 
affright, 
And it stopped all their singing as well. 



52 LITTLE SPEECHES 

Then whack ! came a brick in the midst of the 
three, 
And each of them caught such a blow, 
That they all saw at once 'twas the end of their 
spree, 
And agreed it was time they should go. 

Tom Black had a rather bad knock on his nose ; 

Tom Tab had a crack on the cheek ; 
Tom White on his tail had some terrible blows, 

And they could'nt come out for a week. 



PRETTY IS THAT PRETTY DOES. 

From the ' * Popular Educator ". 

The spider wears a plain brown dress, 
And she is a steady spinner ; 
To see her, quiet as a mouse, 
Going about her silver house, 
You'd never, never, never guess, 

The way she gets her dinner. 

She looks as if no thought of ill 

In all her life had stirred her; 
But while she moves with careful tread, 
And while she spins her silken thread, 
She's planning, planning, planning still 
The way to do some murder ! 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 53 

My child, who reads this simple lay 

With eyes down-dropt and tender, 
Remember, the old proverb goes 
That "pretty is which pretty does", 
That worth will neither go nor stay 
For poverty or splendor. 

'Tis not the house, 'tis not the dress, 

That makes the saint or sinner, 
To see the spider sit and spin, 
Shut with her webs of silver in, 
You'd never, never, never guess 

The way she gets her dinner. 



THE CONCEITED GRASSHOPPER. 

There was a little grasshopper 

Forever on the jump ; 
And as he never looked ahead, 

He often got a bump. 

His mother said to him one day, 
As they were in the stubble, 

"If you don't look before you leap, 
You'll get yourself in trouble." 

The silly little grasshopper 
Despised his wise old mother, 

And said he knew what best to do, 
And bade her not to bother. 



54 LITTLE SPEECHES 

He hurried off across the field — 
An unknown path he took — 

When, oh ! he gave a heedless jump, 
And landed in the brook. 

He struggled hard to reach the bank — 
A floating straw he seizes — 

When quick a hungry trout darts out, 
And tears him all to pieces. 

* * * * 

Good little boys, and girls, heed well 
Your mother's wise advice ; 

Before you move, look carefully, 
Before you speak, think twice. 



BABY'S FIRST TOOTH. 

BY THE BABY'S BROTHER. 

Mamma she came down all smiles and delight, 
And she kissed all us children twice round, 

And the nurse looked so cheery and happy and 
bright, 
As if something nice she had found. 

And as to papa, he too looked quite gay, 

As down to our breakfast we sat ; 
And when to the train he was going away 

H3 was almost forgetting his hat ! 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 55 

And what do you think all this stir was 
about ?— 
This bother and rumpus, forsooth ? — 
You'd think something funny had happened, 
no doubt ; 
'Twas baby had cut his first tooth ! 
Just a wee little dot peeping out through his 
gums, 
As he bites at his ivory ring ; 
And we've all got to feel with our fingers and 
thumbs, 
As if 'twas a wonderful thing ! 

Now, I'm only a boy, and I'm puzzled in truth, 
And a reason I've never heard yet, 

Why more should be made over baby's one tooth 
Than was made over Granny's new set ! 



AN ORATION. 

FOR A SIX YEAR OLD BOY. 

I think it's real mean of people to put me 
down on the p — r — o^g — r — a — m, I think 
there's another m, and an e, — yes, — on the pro- 
gramme for an o — r — a — s — h — , no, no! t-i-o-n, 
— an oration, instead of a little short piece. 

They told me I must speak in a g — r — a — n — d 
— i — 1 — o — (makes a long sigh) — 1-o-q-u-e-n-t — , 
grandil — dil — grandi — lo — quent style. What a 



56 LITTLE SPEECHES 

funny word a "style" is! I wonder why they 
put a "y " in the middle of it ! Perhaps 'cause 
you have to open your legs wide to get over it. 

Now ! hear me orate ! (recites with extravagant 
gestures?) 

When, in the course of human events, 
Under a palpably false pretense, 
A small boy tries to soar up high, 
Like a spread-eagle, to the sky ; 
To make an oration presumes to dare — 
My countrymen ! Oh, what a fall is there ! 
" Breathes there a man" — 

(Suddenly quiets down, smiles ; proceeds naturally.) 

Oh ! Draw it mild — 
I'm not a man, — I'm but a child. 
Just wait, kind friends ; when older I grow 
I'll orate till I set your hearts aglow. 
Just now I'm much too small. Oh, my ! 
I'm sorry, — excuse me. Dear friends, good-bye ! 



CONCERT RECITATION. 

SILVIA MANNING. 

From the "Popular Educator". 

We are busy little bees, 

We are workers, one and all ; 
We try our teacher dear to please, 

We're bright although we're small. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 57 

We must come to school each day, 

If we would wiser grow ; 
In the pleasant month of May, 

And through the winter's snow. 

Day by day and year by year, 

We'll climb the ladder high ; 
We'll never fail, we need not fear, 

With the motto "We will try". 

The great wide world before us lies. 

There's work for us to do ; 
If we would win the victor's prize, 

We must be brave and true. 



AMBITION. 



I'm very young for a soldier, 
That you can plainly see ; 

But if you'll only wait awhile 
You'll hear great deeds of me. 



TEMPERANCE ADDRESS. 

FOR A VERY YOUNG LECTURER. 

I think that every mother's son, 
And every father's daughter, 

Should drink,— at least till twenty-one,- 
Just nothing but cold water. 



58 LITTLE SPEECHES 

And after that they might drink tea, 
But nothing any stronger. 

If all folks would agree with me 
They'd live a great deal longer. 



SPEECH. 

FOR A SMALL BOY. 



It is a trying thing to me 
To get up here where all can see, 
And make a speech before a crowd, 
For you must know I can't speak loud. 

But then I thought, as I was dressed, 
I'd come and do my very best ; 
Some credit you will give me now, 
As to the ladies here I bow. 



TOMS EYES AND MINE. 

FOR A LITTLE GIRL. 

Front Jhc "Popular Educator" 

My brother Tom is just too mean, 
And says the very worst of things 

About my lovely doll Irene, 

Who's just an angel, all but wings. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 59 

He says her face is made of wax, 
And that her curls are not real hair, 

But only common yellow flax, 

And that 'tis paint that makes her fair. 

Tom's eyes are not like mine, I know, 

Or he could see her almost cry, 
To hear him talk about her so, 

And not be able to reply. 

But boys are only boys, you know, 
You can't expect too much of them, 

I only wonder that they grow 
In one and twenty years to men. 



THE BRAVEST THING. 

Would ye learn the bravest thing 

That man can ever do ? 
Would ye be an uncrowned king, 

Absolute and true? 

Would ye seek to emulate, 

All we learn in story 
Of the moral, just, and great, 

Rich in real glory ? 

Would ye lose much bitter cars 

In your lot below ? 
Bravely speak out, when and where 

Tis right to utter, " No ! " 



60 LITTLE SPEECHES 

LITTLE FELLOWS DECLAMATION. 

They thought I couldn't make a speech, 

I'm such a little tot ! 
I'll show them whether I can do 

A thing or two, or not. 
Don't be afraid to fight the Wrong, 

Or stand up for the Right ; 
And when you've nothing else to say, 

Be sure you say, — Good night ! — 



FOR DECORATION DAY. 

Let little hands bring blossoms sweet 

To brave men, lying low ; 
Let little hearts to soldiers dead 

Their love and honor show. 

We'll love the flag they loved so well, 
The dear old banner bright ; 

We'll love the land for which they fell 
With soul, and strength, and might ! 



CHRISTMAS BELLS. 

I heard the bells on Christmas Day 
Their old, familiar carols play, 

And wild and sweet 

The words repeat 
Of peace on earth, good-will to men ! 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 61 

I thought how, as the day had come, 
The belfries of all Christendom 

Had rolled along 

The unbroken song 
Of peace on earth, good-will to men. 
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep, 
" God is not dead ; nor doth he sleep ! 

The wrong shall fail, 

The right prevail, 
With peace on earth, good- will to men ! M 



NOSE OUT OF JOINT. 

CHARLES FOLLEN ADAMS. 
A WAIL BY NUMBER TWO. 

Mozzer bought a baby, 

'Ittle bitsey sing ; 

Sinks I mos' could put him 

Frou my yubber ying. 

Ain't he awful ugly ? 

Ain't he awful pink ? 

"Just come down from heaven "«— 

Yat's a fib, I sink. 

Doctor tor anozzer 

Great big awful lie ; 

Nose ain't out o'joint, zen, 

Yat ain't why I cry. 

Mamma stays up in bedroom — ■ 

Guess he makes her sick. 



62 LITTLE SPEECHES 

Fro' him in the gutter, 
Beat him wiz a stick. 

Cuddle him and love him ! 
Call him "Blessed sing"! 
Don't care if my kite ain't 
Got a bit of string ! 
Send me off with Bridget 
Every single day, — 
" Be a good boy, Charley, 
Run away and play." 

Said " I ought to love him " ! 
No, I won't ! no, zur ! 
Nassy cryin' baby, 
Not got any hair. 
Got all my nice kisses, 
Got my place in bed, — 
Mean to take my drumsticks 
And beat him on the head. 



ILL PUT IT OFF. 

Some little folks are apt to say 
When asked their task to touch, 

" I'll put it off, at least to-day ; 
It cannot matter much." 

Time is always on the wing ; 

You cannot stop its flight ; 
Then do at once your little task ; 

You'll happier be at night. 



FOB LITTLE SPEAKERS. 63 

For little duties, still put off, 

Will end in " Never Done " ; 
And " Bye-and-bye is time enough ", 

Has ruined many a one. 



CHICKADEE. 



All the earth is wrapt in snow, 
O'er the hills the cold winds blow, 
Thro* the valley down below 

Whirls the blast. 
All the mountain brooks are still, 
Not a ripple from the hill, 
For each tiny, murmuring rill 

Is frozen fast. 

Come with me 

To the tree 
Where the apples used to hang ! 

Follow me 

To the tree 
Where the birds of summer sang ! 
There's a happy fellow there, 
For the cold he does not care, 
And he always calls to me, 

" Chickadee, chickadee ! " 

He's a merry little fellow, 
Neither red nor blue nor yellow, 
For he wears a coat of gray ; 



64 LITTLE SPEECHES 

And his cheery little voice 
Makes my happy heart rejoice, 
While he calls the live-long day — 

Calls to me — 

" Chickadee ! " 

From the leafless apple-tree, 

11 Chickadee, chickadee ! " 

Then he hops from bow to twig, 

Tapping on each tiny sprig, 

Calling happily to me, 
" Chickadee ! " 

He's a merry little fellow, 
Neither red nor blue nor yellow, 
He's the cheery bird of winter, 
" Chickadee ! " 



SPELLING IN THE NURSERY, 

" G — u — n," said Gracie to Willie, 

" What does that spell ?"— " I don't know." 

He is three, and she is seven. 

" G— u— n ! Goose ? "— " Oh, dear, no ! " 

" Rooster ? Boy ? Stick ? " but each time 

Gracie shook her curly head, 

" 'Tain't conundrums I am giving, 

But a lesson-word instead." 

" When a little boy is shooting 
At a rabbit, what goes off ? " 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 65 

Gracie said, her face a study, 
As she quelled a little cough, 
Thinking he would surely guess it. 
" You're so stupid ! I'm quite hoarse 
Talking to you. What goes off ? " 
" Why, the rabbit does, of course." 



A BOY'S OPINION. 

The girls may have their dollies, 
Made of china or of wax ; 

I prefer a little hammer, 
And a paper full of tacks. 

There's such a comfort in a chisel ! 

And such music in a file ! 
I w T ish that little pocket saws 

Would get to be the style ! 

My kite may fly up in a tree ; 

My sled be stuck in mud ; 
And all my hopes of digging wells 

Be nipped off in the bud ; 

But with a little box of nails, 

A gimlet and a screw ; 
I'm happier far than any king ; 

I've work enough to do. 



LITTLE SPEECHES 

THE FORGET-ME-NOT. 

When to the flowers so beautiful, 

The Father gave a name, 
Back came a little blue-eyed one, 

All timidly it came, 
And standing at its Father's feet, 

And gazing in his face, 
It said, in low and trembling tones, 

And with a modest grace, 
" Dear God, the name thou gavest me, 

Alas ! I have forgot." 
The Father kindly looked him down 

And said, " Forget me not." 



LIFE MAXIMS. 

From the "Popular Educator." 

In the morning of our life, 

In youth's pleasant days ; 
Ere we meet with sin and strife, 

Walk we in wisdom's ways. 
Truth shall be our guiding star, 

Shining bright above ; 
Naught our peace and joy can mar, 

If we Walk in love. 
Loving words to all we speak, 

Friendship sweet we prize ; 
Kindly deeds to do we seek, 

As each moment flies. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 67 

THE WELL-SPENT SUNDAY. 

MATTHEW HALE. 

A Sabbath well-spent brings a week of content 

Whatever may be in the morrow; 
But a Sabbath profaned whatever be gained 

Is the certain fore-runner of sorrow. 



CAW! CAW! CAW! 

EDWARD CARSWELL. 

Caw ! caw ! caw ! 
I am a poor old crow ! 
And I just want to know 
Why you treat us with cruelty and scorn ? 

Caw ! caw ! caw ! 
Why you shoot us with a gun, 
And seem to think it fun, 
If we just take a grain or two of corn ? 

Caw ! caw ! caw ! 
Yet you'll make it into drink, 
Which does more harm, I think, 
Than all the crows that ever flew in air ; 
Caw ! caw ! caw ! 
For it blights where'er it flows, 
Killing men instead of crows, 
Then why not eat, and let us have a share ? 
Caw ! caw ! caw ! 



68 LITTLE SPEECHES 

LITTLE CHILDREN. 

Little children, love each other ; 

Never give another pain ; 
If your brother speaks in anger, 

Answer not in wrath again. 
Be not selfish to each other ; 

Never mar another's rest, 
Strive to make each other happy 

And you will yourself be blest. 



WHOLE DUTY OF CHILDREN. 

A child should always say what's true 
And speak when he is spoken to, 
And mannerly behave at table ; 
At least so far as he is able. 



THE LITTLE BOY'S LAMENT. 

Oh, why must I always be washed so clean 
And scrubbed and drenched for Sunday, 

When you know very well, for you've always 
seen, 
That I'm dirty again on Monday ? 

My eyes are filled with the lathery soap, 
Which down my ears is dripping ; 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 69 

And my smarting eyes I can scarcely ope, 
And my lips the suds are sipping. 

It's down my neck and up my nose, 

And to choke me you seem to be trying ; 

That I shut my mouth you need not suppose, 
For how can I keep from crying ? 

You rub as hard as ever you can, 

And your hands are hard to my sorrow ; 

No woman shall wash me when I am a man, 
And I wish I was one to-morrow. 



TRUTH. 



Boy, at all times tell the truth, 
Let no lie defile thy mouth ; 
If there's wrong, be still the same — 
Speak the truth and bear the blame. 

Truth is honest, truth is sure ; 
Truth is strong, and must endure 
Falsehood lasts a single day, 
Then it vanishes away. 

Boy, at all times tell the truth, 
Let no lie defile thy mouth ; 
Truth is steadfast, sure, and fast — 
Certain to prevail at last. 



70 LITTLE SPEECHES 

CONVALESCENT. 

I prayed to God ; He heard my prayer, 
And made a little child His care ; 
When I was sick, He healed my pain, 
And gave me health and strength again. 
Oh, let me now His Grace implore, 
And love and praise Him evermore. 



GENTLE HINTS. 



If you've any task to do, 

Let me whisper, friend, to you, 

Do it ! 
If you've anything to say, 
True and needed, yea or nay, 

Say it ! 
If you've anything to love, 
As a blessing from above, 

Love it ! 
If you've anything to give 
That another's joy may live, 

Give it ! 
If you know what torch to light, 
Guiding others through the night, 

Light it! 

If you've any debt to pay, 
Rest you neither night nor day, 

Pay it! 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS.. 71 

If you've any joy to hold 

Next your heart, lest it grow cold, 

Hold it ! 
If you've any grief to meet 
At your loving Father's feet, 

Meet it ! 
If you're given light to see, 
What a child of God should be, 

See it ! 
Whether life be bright or drear, 
There's a message, sweet and clear, 
Whispered down to every ear, 

Hear it! 



BED IN SUMMER. 

In winter I get up at night 
And dress by yellow candle light. 
In summer, quite the other way, 
I have to go to bed by day. 
I have to go to bed and see 
The birds still hopping on the tree, 
Or hear the grown-up people's feet 
Still going past me in the street. 
And does it not seem hard to you, 
When all the sky is clear and blue, 
And I should like so much to play, 
To have to go to bed by day ? 



72 LITTLE SPEECHES 

THE LAND OF COUNTERPANE. 

When I was sick and lay a-bed. 
I had two pillows at my head, 
And all my toys beside me lay 
To keep me happy all the day. 

And sometimes for an hour or so 
I watched my leaden soldiers go, 
With different uniforms and drills 
Among the bed-clothes, through the hills ; 

And sometimes sent my ships in fleets 
All up and down among the sheets ; 
Or brought my trees and houses out, 
And planted cities all about. 

I was the giant great and still 
That sits upon the pillow-hill, 
And sees before him, dale and plain, 
The pleasant land of counterpane. 



A CHILD'S TROUBLES. 

I wish I knew my letters well, 
So I might learn to read and spell ; 
I'd find them on my pretty card, 
If they were not so very hard. 

Now S is crooked — don't you see ? 
And G is making mouths at me, 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 73 

And O is something like a ball, — 

It hasn't any end at all. 

And all the rest are — my ! so queer ! 

They look like crooked sticks — oh. dear ! 

Ma counted six, and twenty more ; 

What do they have so many for ? 



THE LITTLE PEACH. 

A little peach in the orchard grew — 
A little peach of emerald hue ; 
Warmed by the sun and wet by the dew, 

It grew. 
One day, passing the orchard through, 
That little peach dawned on the view 
Of Johnnie Jones and his sister Sue — 

Those two. 

Up at the peach a club he threw — 
Down from the tree on which it grew 
Fell the little peach of emerald hue — 

Near Sue ! 
She took a bite and he a chew, 
And then the trouble began to brew — 
Trouble the doctor couldn't subdue — ■ 

Too true ! 
Under the turf where the daisies grew 
They planted John and his sister Sue, 
And their little souls to the angels flew- 

Boo-hoo ! 



74 LITTLE SPEECHES 

But what of the peach of emerald hue, 
Warmed by the sun and wet by the dew ? 
Ah, well, its mission on earth was through- 
Adieu ! 



MOTES AND MOUNTAINS. 

The motes up and down in the sun 
Ever restlessly moving we see ; 
Whereas the great mountains stand still, 
Unless terrible earthquakes there be. 

If these atoms that move up and down 
Were as useful as restless they are ; 
Than a mountain, I rather would be 
A mote in the sunbeam so fair. 



WINTER JEWELS. 

A million little diamonds 

Twinkled on the trees, 

And all the little maidens said, 

" A jewel, if you please ! " 

But while they held their hands outstretched 

To catch the diamonds gay, 

A million little sunbeams came 

And stole them all away. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 75 

HARRYS ARITHMETIC. 

FOR A LITTLE BOY. 

(Holding in his Hand a slate and pencil.) 
From the " St. Nicholas Magazine." 

I'm glad I have a good-sized slate, 
With lots of room to calculate. 
Bring on your sums ! I'm ready now ; 
My slate is clean, and I know how. 
But don't you ask me to subtract, 
I like to have my slate well-packed ; 
And only two long rows, you know, 
Make such a miserable show ; 
And, please, don't bring me sums to add ; 
Well, multiplying's just as bad ; 
And, say ! I'd rather not divide — 
Bring me something I haven't tried! 



THE SUN'S TRAVELS. 

The sun is not a-bed, when I 

At night upon my pillow lie ; 

Still round the world his way he takes, 

And morning after morning makes. 

While here at home, in shining day, 
We round the sunny garden play, 
Each little Indian sleepy-head 
Is being kissed and put to bed. 



76 LITTLE SPEECHES 

And when at eve I rise from tea, 
Day dawns beyond the Atlantic Sea ; 
And all the children in the West 
Are getting up and being dressed. 



THE GRATEFUL PREACHER. 

A strolling preacher, once upon a time, 
Addressed a congregation rather slim 
In numbers, yet his subject was sublime ; — 
'Twas " Charity " — sonorous was the hymn ; 
Fervent the prayer ; and, though the house was 

small, 
He pounded lustily the Sacred Word, 
And preached an hour as loud as he could 

bawl, 
As one who meant the Gospel should be heard. 
And now, behold, the preacher's hat is sent 
Among the pews for customary pence, 
But soon returns as empty as it went ! 
Whereat — low bowing to the audience — 
He said, " My preaching is not all in vain ; 
Thank God ! I've got my beaver back again." 



GOOD ADVICE TO TALKERS. 

If you your lips would keep from slips, 
Five things observe with care : — 

Of whom you speak ; to whom you speak ; 
And how ; and when ; and where ! 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 77 

VALEDICTORY. 

A. F. SHOALS. 

The golden glow of a summer's day 

Rests over the verdant hills, 
And the sunlight falls with mellow ray 

On fields and laughing rills ; 
But ere its last beam fades away 

Beyond the mountain high, 
Our lips must bravely, sadly say 

The parting words " Good-bye". 

Kind friends and parents gathered here, 

Our gratitude is yours 
For all your care and sympathy, 

Which changelessly endures. 
We'll try to use the present hours 

So they will bring no sigh, 
When to our happy days of school 

We say our last " Good-bye". 

Dear teachers, we shall ne'er forget 

The lessons you have taught ; 
We trust the future may perfect 

The work your hands have wrought ; 
And may they bring good gifts to you, 

These years that swiftly fly, 
And may you kindly think of those 

Who bid you now "Good-bye". 

" Good-bye ! " it shall not be farewel 1 ,— 
We hope again to meet ; 



78 LITTLE SPEECHES 

But happy hours are ever short, 
And days of youth are fleet. 

There's much to learn, and much to do; 
Oh, may our aims be high, 

And ever lead toward that bright land, 
Where none shall say " Good-bye". 



FRIENDS AND ENEMIES. 

FOR A LITTLE BOY. 

The man that has a thousand friends 
Has not a friend to spare ; 
But he that has one enemy, 
Shall find him everywhere. 



MY BED IS A BOAT. 

My bed is like a little boat ; 
Nurse helps me in when I embark ; 
She girds me in my sailor's coat 
And starts me in the dark. 

At night, I go on board and say 
Good-night to all my friends on shore ; 
I shut my eyes and sail away 
And see and hear no more, 

And sometimes things to bed I take, 
As prudent sailors have to do ; 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 79 

Perhaps a slice of wedding cake, 
Perhaps a toy or two. 
All night across the dark we steer ; 
But when the day returns at last, 
Safe in my room, beside the pier, 
I find my vessel fast. 



BOYS' RIGHTS. 



I wonder now if anyone 
In this broad land has heard 
In favor of downtrodden boys 
A solitary word ! 

We hear enough of " Women's Rights ", 

And " rights of workingmen ", 

Of " equal rights" and " nations' rights", 

But you just tell me when 

Boys' rights were ever spoken of ! 

Why, we've become so used 

To being snubbed by everyone 

And slighted and abused, 

That, w r hen one is polite to us, 

We stare w r ith all our eyes, 

And stretch them in astonishment 

To nearly twice their size ! 
Boys seldom dare to ask boy friends 
To venture in the house, 
For 'tisn't natural at all 

To creep round like a mouse. 



80 LITTLE SPEECHES 

And if we should forget ourselves 
And make one bit of noise, 
Then some good auntie quick would say, 
" Oh, my ! those dreadful boys ! M 

The girls may the piano thrum 
All day, but if the boys 
Play just one tune with fife and drum, 
It's, " Stop that horrid noise ! " 

Insulted thus, we lose no time 
In beating a retreat, — 
So off we go to romp and tear 
And scamper in the street, 

Perhaps that text the preacher quotes 
Sometimes, " Train up a child," 
Means only train the little girls, 
And let the boys run wild ; 

But patience, boys ; the time will come 
When we shall all be men ; 
And when it does, I rather think 
Wrongs will be righted then. 



THE TWO MONKS AND THE PILGRIM. 

It chanced that, on a bleak and wintry day, 
When numerous pilgrims trod the rugged way, 
And thronged, as pilgrims oft had thronged of 

late, 
The monastery's hospitable gate, 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 81 

Two younger monks, tired of the constant 

sound 
With which the bell disturbed their studious 

round, 
Impatient grew, and with ill grace bestowed 
The Charity which yet they inly loved. 
At length a gentler peal than all before 
Announced once more a stranger at the door, 
A pilgrim's staff was in His hand up-borne, 
A robe of camel's hair concealed his form, 
A wistful look shone from divinest eyes, 
And in His hands they saw, with quick surprise, 
The marks of wounds. Amazed, they eager 

cried, 
" And is it Thou, dear Lord ?" Then He replied, 
" My sons, when to the poorest and the least 
Ye welcome give, then I become your guest ! " 



INNOVATION. 



I'm thankful that the sun and moon 

Are both hung up so high, 

That no presumptuous hand can stretch 

And pull them from the sky, 

If they were not, I have no doubt, 

But some reforming ass 

Would recommend to take them down, 

And light the world with gas. 



82 LITTLE SPEECHES 

ENVY. 

This rose-tree is not made to bear 
The violet blue, nor lily fair, 

Nor the sweet mignonette ; 
And if this tree were discontent, 
Or w T ished to change its natural bent, 

It all in vain would fret. 

And should it fret, you would suppose 
It ne'er had seen its own red rose, 

Nor after gentle shower 
Had ever smelled its rose's scent, 
Or it could ne'er be discontent 

With its own pretty flower. 

Like such a blind and senseless tree 
As I've imagined this to be, 

All envious persons are ; 
With care and culture all may find 
Some pretty flower in their own mind. 

Some talent that is rare. 



CHATTERBOX. 



They call me " Little Chatterbox ;•• 

My name is little May. 
I have to talk so much, because 

I have so much to say. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 83 

And, O, I have so many friends ! 

So many, and, you see, 
I can't help loving them, because 

They, every one, love me. 

I love my papa and my mamma ; 

I love my sisters, too ; 
And if you're very, very good, 

I guess that I'll love you ! 

But I love God the best of all, 

He keeps me all the night ; 
And when the morning comes again, 

He wakes me with the light. 

I think it is so nice to live ! 

And yet, if I should die, 
The Lord would send his angels down 

To take me to the sky. 



BABY SLEEPS. 

Let every sound be dead — 

Baby sleeps ; 
The Emperor softly tread — 

Baby sleeps ; 
Let Mozart's music stop, 
Let Phidias' chisel drop, — 

Baby sleeps ; 
Demosthenes be dumb ; 
Our tyrant's hour has come— 

Baby sleeps. 



84 LITTLE SPEECHES 

LOOKING FORWARD. 

When I am grown to man's estate 
I shall be very proud and great, 
And tell the other girls and boys 
Not to meddle with my toys. 



MY KINGDOM. 



A little kingdom I possess, 

Where thoughts and feelings dwell, 
And very hard I find the task 

Of governing it well ; 
For passion tempts and troubles me, 

A wayward will misleads, 
And selfishness its shadow casts 

On all my words and deeds. 

How can I learn to rule myself, 

To be the child I should, 
Honest and brave, nor ever tire 

Of trying to be good ? 
How can I keep a sunny soul 

To shine along life's way? 
How can I tune my little heart 

To sweetly sing all day ? 

Dear Father, help me with the love 
That casteth out my fear ; 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 85 

Teach me to lean on Thee, and feel 

That Thou art very near ; 
That no temptation is unseen, 

No childish grief too small, 
Since Thou, with patience infinite, 

Doth soothe and comfort all. 

I do not ask for any crown, 

But that which all may win, 
Nor seek to conquer any world 

Except the one within. 
Be Thou my guide until I find, 

Led by a tender hand, 
Thy happy kingdom in myself 

And dare to take command. 



WILLIE'S TEARS. 

Last night 'mid tears, a sorry shower, 
Before the peaceful twilight hour, 
Was willful Willie put to bed — 
"A bad, bad boy," so mamma said, 
But lo ? this morning, like the sky, 
Unclouded shone his clear blue eye. 

And when upon his happy view 
The meadows gleamed, all teared with dew, 
He clapped his tiny hands and cried, 
His plump pink cheeks aglow with pride, 
" Last night, last night, oh, mamma, see, 
The angel-boys were bad like me ! " 



LITTLE SPEECHES 



GOOD-NIGHT. 



When the bright lamp is carried in, 
The sunless hours again begin ; 
O'er all without, in field and lane, 
The haunted night returns again. 

Now we behold the embers flee 
About the fire-lit hearth ; and see 
Our faces painted as we pass, 
Like pictures, on the window-glass. 

Must we to bed indeed ? Well then, 
Let us arise and go like men, 
And face with an undaunted tread 
The long black passage up to bed. 

Farewell, O brother, sister, sire ! 
O pleasant party round the fire ! 
The songs you sing, the tales you tell, 
Till far to-morrow, fare you well ! 



DEEDS OF KINDNESS. 

How many deeds of kindness 

A little child may do, 
Although it has so little strength, 

And little wisdom too ! 
It wants a loving spirit 

Much more than strength, to prove 
How many things a child may do 

For others by its love. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 87 



GOOD-BYE. 



We have but one more word to say, 

As sinks the day to rest ; 
We hope you're pleased at what you've heard ; 

We've tried to do our best. 

We're glad to see you often here ; 

And when you come we'll try 
To entertain you with our words, 

But now we'll say " Good-bye" 



IF I WERE YOTT. 

What would I do if I were you ? 

First thing, I'd make a rule 
To put my hat and boots in place 

When I came home from school. 
What would I do if I were you ! 

I wouldn't pout and cry 
Because I couldn't have my way 

About a piece of pie. 
What would I do if I were you ? 

I'd speak a pleasant word 
To this and that one in the house, 

And not be sour as curd. 

What would I do if I were you ? 

I'd not fly off apace 
Into a raging passion when 

Another took my place. 



88 KITTLE SPEECHES 

And when a body asked my help, 

I'd try to do a favor, 
So that it should not always have 

A disobliging flavor. 

If I were you, my little friend, 

I'd try to be so good 
That my example all around 

Might follow if they could. 

Then 'twill be easy to obey 
God's laws and parents' rule ; 

And you'll be happy too, and good 
At home, or play, or school. 



YOUNG NIGHT THOUGHT. 

All night long and every night, 
When my mamma puts out the light, 
I see the people marching by, 
As plain as day before my eye. 

Armies and emperors and kings, 
All carrying different kinds of things, 
All marching in so grand a way, 
You never saw the like by day. 

So fine a show was never seen 
At the great circus on the Green ; 
For every kind of beast and man 
Is marching in that caravan. 



FOR LITTLE SPEAKERS. 89 

At first they move a little slow, 
But still the faster on they go, 
And still beside them close I keep 
Until we reach the town of Sleep. 



OUR TEMPERANCE BANNER. 

We're soldiers of an army, 
A noble temperance band ; 

And in its cause united 
We labor heart and hand. 

Though young, we know the Saviour 

Is ever near at hand, 
To cheer us in our labor 

And bless our growing band. 

We're soldiers of an army, 

For volunteers we call, 
To fight as valiant heroes, 

Against King Alcohol. 

And still there's room for others ; 

We gladly welcome all 
Who come to join the battle 

Against King Alcohol. 

And if we ask, believing, 

He'll give us each and all 
The strength we need for battle 

Against King Alcohol. 



90 LITTLE SPEECHES 

HANDS AND FINGERS. 

(To be recited with appropriate gestures.) 

Two little hands, so soft and white, 
This is the left and this the right, 
Five little fingers standing on each, 
So I can hold a plum or peach. 
When I get as big as you, 
Lots of things these hands will do. 



GOD SEES ME. 



God sees me all the day, 

And sees me all the night, 
He keeps me while I sleep 

Safe until morning light. 
He sees me in the dark, 

As plain as in the light, 
He knows when I do wrong ; 

And knows when I do right. 

He knows, too, every word 
Of what I think, or say, 

He hears me when I sing, 
He hears me when I pray. 

Dear God, I want to live 
So Thou wilt always love 

To guide and lead me on, 

Safe home to Thee above. 



Kavanaugh's Exhibition Reciter, for Very 

Little Children. A collection of entirely Original Reci- 
tations, Dialogues and Short Speeches, adapted for very 
little boys and girls j including also a variety of pieces, hu- 
morous, serious and dramatic, suitable for children from 
Three to Ten Tears Old, for Public and Private School Ex- 
hibitions and other Juvenile Entertainments. 

It also includes a May-Day Festival for very little children, 
and a number of beautiful Speaking Tableaux. By the author 
of " Kavanaugh's Juvenile Speaker," 

CONTENTS. 



Salutatory 

The Gipsy's Warning 

Grandma's Talk 

Santa Claus 

They ask Me why I am ko bad. 

The Power of Justice 

May Celebration 

Speech of Crown-Bearer 

Speech of Sceptre-Bearer. . . 

Speech of Daisy 

Speech of Snow Drop 

Speech of Rose 

Speech of Lily 

Speech of Venus 

Speech of Cupid 

Speech of Temperance 

Speech of Bacchus 

Speech of Comet 

Speech of May-Queen 

The Months 

The Four Queens 

Saint and Sinner 

The Dog in the Manger 

Where There's a Will, There's 

a Way 

Repartee 

The Midgets' Greeting 

Boys will be Boys 

The Dog and His Shadow 

A Fellow who is Game. 

The Five Wishes 

What has been Done may be 

Done Again 

The Lark and her Young Ones. 

Only Five 

Poor Old Maids 

Money is King 

The Two Frogs 

The Little Gentleman 

Confidence Versus Merit 

The Old Man and Death 

The Old Year Out and the New 

Year In 



I'm Little But I'm Spunky. . . 
The Fox who Lost His Tail . . . 
The Gray Mare is the Better 

Borse 

Keep out of Debt 

The Apple of Discord 

The Smallest Grade 

The Birth of Paris 

The Boy and the Wolf 

The Origin of the Peacock .... 

Little Midget 

The Wolf and the Bear 

Scene from "Robin Hood 

What Grandma Thinks 

The Fox and the Goat 

The Fairy's Revenge 

Good Night 

Four Years 

The Boy and His Mother 

Never Look Back 

Yours Truly 

An Old-Time Breakdown 

The Man and the Goose 

Speech for a Six- Year-Old 

Speech for a Little Boy 

In Twenty Years 

Little Miss Ray 

A Hopeful Youth 

The Choicest Goods 

Valedictory 

Valedictory 

The Peddler's Caravan 

Robin Redbreast's Secret 

Why? 

The Concert in the Wood 



MUSIC. 

The Gipsy's Warning 

Jewels Bright 

Baby Fair 

Gentle Zitella 

Tell Me, Where do Fairies 
Dwell? 



15 



Bound in Illuminated Paper Covers 30 cts. 

7*ound in Illuminated Board Covers 50 cts 



Popular Boeks Sent Free of Postage at the Prices Annexed, ~ 
Kavanaugh's Juvenile Speaker. For very little boys and 

girls. Containing short and easily-learned Speeches and Dialogues, ex- 
pressly adapted for School Celebrations, May-Day Festivals and other Chil- 
dren's Entertainments. By Mrs. Russell Kavanaugh. This book is just th« 
thing for Teachers, as it gives a great number of short pieces for very young 
children, with directions for appropriate dresses. 

It includes a complete programme for a May -Day Festival, with opening 
•horus and appropriate speeches for nineteen boys and girls, including 
nearly forty additional speeches for young and very small children. 

It introduces the May-Pole Dance, plainly described in every detail, and 
forming a very attractive and pleasing exhibition. 

Besides the above, it contains the following Dialogues and Recitations, for 
two, three or more boys and girls of various ages : 

1 



Salutatory 

Salutatory 

Opening Song 

Opening Recitation 

An Interrupted Recitation . 
An Imaginative Invention. . 

Speech 

A Joyful Surprise 

An Oration 

How He Had Him 

The Old Maid 

The Old Bachelor 

Poetry, Prose and Fact 

The Dumb Wife 

!To Inconsistent Husbands . . 
Small Pitchers have Large 

Ears ... 

Sour Grapes 

Not Worth While to Hate ... 
A Strike Among the Flowers . 

A Witty Retort 

The Young Critic 

14 They Say" 

ripeech 

-* Angels Can Do No More.''.. 

Recitation 

Dialogue 

Holiday Speech c 

The Love-Scrape 

An Old Ballad . : 

The Milkmaid :-..... 

Billy Grimes, the Drover...... 

Grandmother's Beau 

Speech 

Honesty the Best Polity 



Balance Due... 

Recitation 

The Coming Woman 

Speech 

The Power of Temper ... 

Truth and Falsehood 

Recitation 

Recitation 

Recitation 

Christmas Forty Years Ago. 

Speech 

Trying Hard 

The School-Boy 

Recitation. 

"IToldYou So" 

Speech 

Speech 

Speech 

Choosing a Name 

Baby Bye ... 

Dialogue 

Little Puss 

Poor Men vs. Rich Men 

Helping Papa and Mamma.. . 

Annabel's First Party 

The Spendthrift Doll 

The Little Mushrooms 

Valedictory 

Riding in the Cars 

Riding in the Cars 

Speech - 

The Cobbler's Secret 

Dialogue 

Valedictory 



I 



The whole embraces a hundred and twenty-three easy and very effectivo 
pieces, from which selections can be made to* suit the capacities of boys and 
girls of from two to sixteen years of age. 

l6mo, illuminated paper cover. Price. , 30 cts» 

" Boards 50 cts. 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices Annexed. 
McBride's Funny Dialogues. A Collection of new and 

original Dialogues, introducing Yankee, Irish, Dutcii and other ecceutric 
Characters, designed for Juvenile Entertainments. By H. Elliott McBride. 

CONTENTS. 



Albert's Rehearsal 

The Village Meddler 

Three Smart Girls 

A Surprise Party 

A Narrow Escape 

Looking around for a Wife. . 

A Brave Woman 

Making Soap 

Hezekiah 's Arrival 

The Storm 

A Sober Second Thought — 

Taking the Census 

16m o, illuminated paper cover. 
Bound in boards, cloth back. . . 



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Missionary Work at Home 
Josiah's First Courting. . . , 
A Robber Under the Bed . . 
Subscribing to Mission Fund 

A Sudden Blow 

Saved from the Poor House 
Coming to an Understanding 
Advertising for a Servant. . . 

Jonathan's Daughters 

Visitors from the City 

Broken Promises 

Jelly for the Minister 



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Price . 



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30 cts. 
50 cts. 



Kavanaugh's Comic Dialogues and Pieces for Little Chil- 
dren. Containing Short and Easy original pieces and dialogues specially 
designed for Sunday School and other Exhibitions, and Christmas, May 
and similar occasions. By Mrs. Russell Kavanaugh. An entirely new 
series of pieces, very plainly and simply written, and easily learned and 
comprehended by young children. Some of the pieces are arranged so as 
to include all the little boys and girls in a class. 

CONTENTS. 



Short ChristmasPerformance 
Sing a 8ong of Christmas.. . . 

The Golden Rule 

The Year 

Ruby's Stratagem 

Novel Christmas Tree 

Fanny Gray 

Recitation 

Recitation . - 

Forbearance 

Open the Gate* as High aB the 

8ky 

The Queen of a Isight 

Be Prompt in what you do. . 

The Olden Times 

Winning a Wager. 

And Twenty-four other recitations for 
16mo, illuminated paper cover. Price 
Bound in boards, cloth bajk. . 



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Energy and Industry , 

The Shy Gallant 

Lady Queen Anne 

Ten Thousand a Year 

Dialogue 

Wine and Water 

We are but Little Folks 

Seven Days in a Week 

Th* Stars 

The Song of the Leaves . . . 

Recitation 

What Little Folks Can Do.. 

Vacation 

What the Winds Bring.. 
Closing Day 



single scholars. 



•SO cts. 
60 cts. 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 

Dick's Recitations and Readings. Carefully compiled Series 

of Volumes, uniform in size and style, which will include everything that 
is fresh and popular, introducing, also, the older Gems of the English 
Language that are always in demand; embracing 
CHARACTER SKETCHES, DIALECT PIECES, 

HUMOROUS, SENTIMENTAL, 

PATHETIC, PATRIOTIC, 

ELOQUENT, AND SERIOUS 

Recitations and Readings in Poetry and Prose, excluding every thing 
that is not eminently appropriate, either for Declamation or Public 
Reading. 

Sixteen Numbers of the above Series are now ready. 

Each Number is complete in itself (nothing is repeated) and contains 
about 180 Pages of Reading Matter, printed on fine paper, from clear 

type, and handsomely bound in Illuminated Paper Cover 30 cts. 

Full Cloth 50 cts. 

Graham's School Dialogues for Young People. A new and 

original collection of Dialogues intended for Anniversaries and Exhibi- 
tions. By George C. Graham. These dialogues have been written ex- 
pressly to give advanced scholars an opportunity for displaying their 
dramatic powers and ingenuity ; they are exceedingly amusing, and full 
of ludicrous and telling stage-situations. 



Contents. 



Contents. 



The Empty House 

Turning the Tables ...... 

A Doctor by Proxy 

Strategy 

The Picnic Party 

An Aspirant for Fame. . . 

The New Boy 

Which was the Hero ?. . . . 
Astonishing the Natives . 

The Critics 

The Expected Visitor. . . . 



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A. Nightmare of India. . . 

An Indian Raid 

Going! Going! Gone!... 

The Book-Peddler 

The Burglar- Alarm 

Missed His Chance 

The Girl of the Period. . . 
The Photograph Gallery. 

The Elocution Class 

Love and Stratagem 

Extremes Meet 



16mo, 176 pages, illuminated paper covers. 
«< «< a « board " 



Price SO cts. 

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Burbank's Recitations and Readings. A collection of Hu- 
morous, Dramatic and Dialect Selections, edited and arranged for public 
reading or recitation, by Alfred P. Burbank. Containing many choice 
selections never before in print, as well as some old favorites. 
16m o, 150 pp. Price 25 cts. 

Ogden's Model Speeches for all School Occasions. Contain- 
ing Original Addresses and Orations on everything appertaining to School 
Life; comprising Set Speeches on opening and dedicating new Schools 
aud Academies, all kinds of School Ceremonials, Salutatory and Valedic- 
tory Orations, Presentations, and conferring Honors; Burlesque Speeches, 
Prologues and Epilogues for School Exhibitions, etc., including practical 
hints on Extempore Speaking. By Christol Ogden. 

Paper covers 50 Cts. 

Bound in Boards 75 cts. 



popular Books Sent Free of Postage at the Frices Annexed, 



Frost's Humorous and Exhibition Dialogues, ttos is a col 

lection of sprightly, original Dialogues, in Prose and Verse. u»'>e'.ided to be 
spoken at School Exhibitions. By 3. A. Frost. 



...! 
!*.'! * 



Contents. 

Bumps 

Amateur Farming , 

The Valentine 

Aunt Bethiah's Journey. ..... | 

Will You Advertise? i 2 

■Millie's Visit to the City 

Country Quiet 4 

Circumstances Alter Cases.. . . 

School or Work ' 4 

Bella's Visit to Ca;np j 

The Hypochondriac j 2 

Cross Purposes I 

Rural Felicity I 2 



Contexts. 



The Chatterbox 

Putting on Airs 

Writing a Tragedy 

Morning Calls 

When the Cat's Away the 

Mice will Play 

Very Bashful. .*. 

It Xever Rains but it Pours. 

A Slight Mistake 

Munchausen Outdone 

The Train to Monro 

The Unwilling Witness I 2 

The Age f Progress | 2 



2 fc 



I 



The Dialogues are all good, and will recommend themselves to ^.rose who 
desire to have innocent fun — the prevailing feature at a school ce ebraliou. 

180 pages. Paper covers. Price 30 tcs. 

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Holmes' Very Little Dialogues for Very Littlo FolkK 

Containing forty-seven new and original dialogues, wifn. short and east 
parts, almost entirely in words of one syllable, suited to the capacity an 1 
comprehension of very young children. 



Contexts. 

The Bird's N?st 

All About Two Dolls..., 

Cm a Man 

What are Little Boys O-ood 

For? 

The Party 

TheEose'Bush 

Which is Best? 

The Drum 

Willie's Walk - 

tThe Parrot 

JThe Story 

How Daisy Went to School. . 

i Clara's Gifts 

I What Tommy Found 

The Blind Man 

Poor Sick Lucy 

Josie's Fault 

The Kain Fairy 

G-uess ! 

The Sick Doll 

Work or Play 

The Boat 

Little Mischief 

Paper oarers. Price 

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Contexts. & *f 

The Cow in the Garden 2 

Our Verse , 1 

Jack's !Nap 4 

The Little Beggars. . -. 1 3 

The Doll's Sash 3 

I Wish 2 4 

The Cousin From the City. ... 1 2 

Afraid of the Dark 2 I 

May's Five Dollar isq\& 3 

The Snow 3 

Harry' s Wish 2 

The Dead Bird .... S 

The Orange Tree..- .2 1 

Little by Little 3 

Kitty's Bath 2 

A Stitch in Time Sav*a Mne . 8 

Keeping Store , 2 1 

The Stolen Pe*s .. 2 

Lulu's Picture , 1 2 

Mother Goose's Party 3 4 

Oh, Dear!. , 9 

ThatEcho , 2 1 

The Xew Quarters 1 2 

Visit of Santa Clans 10 8 

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. 50 cts 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
Dick's Common Sense Letter Writer. Containing Three 

Hundred and Sixty Sensible Social and Business Letters with appropriate 
Answers on the following subjects : 



Letters of Introduction. 

Soliciting and Granting Favors. 

Accompanying Gifts. 

Acknowledging Gifts and Favors. 

Letters of Congratulation. 

Letters of Sympathy and Condolence. 

Answers to Advertisements for Hep 

Wanted. 
Inquiries about Character and Ability. 
Recommendations of Character and 

Ability. 
Letters between Employers and Em- 
ployed. 
Accepting and Resigning Positions. 



Letters of Apology. 

Letters of Remonstrance and Com- 
plaint. 

Letters of Love and Courtship. 

Letters of Invitation and Acceptance. 

Forms of Cards of Invitation. 

Notes of Postponement. 

Notes Offering Escort. 

Letters to Landlords and about Board 
and Apartments. 

Family Letters on Various Subjects. 

Business Correspondence. 

Letters on Miscellaneous Subjects, 



Including Instructions for the arrangement of the different parts of a 
Letter, the Address, &c. By William B. Dick. The Letters are all 
original, and serve as eminent models of matter, expression and style, 
in plain but well-chosea language and clearness of diction ; the great 
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Pitman's Manual of Phonography. Containing a complete 

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By Isaac Pitman, New Edition 35 CIS* 

Key to the Exercises in Pitman's Manual. A great help 

for students 15 ets- 

Dick's Stump Speeches and Minstrel Jokes. Containing 

short and side-splitting Negro Acts and Farces, Eccen trie Sketches, Stump 
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Minstrel Entertainments ; including the latest excruciations of modern 
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Illuminated paper covers. Price 30 CtS. 

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Alexander's Calisthenics and Musical Drill for Infants. 

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simple Calisthenics and Swimming Motions. Ring, Skipping and March- 
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Cruden's Calisthenic Training and Musical Drill. A Sys- 

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This work contains complete instructions in Military Marching. Dumb-Bell, 
and Indian Club Exercises : including MusiGal Drill in Free Gymnastics, 
Dumb-Bell and Bar-Bell Exercises and Hoop DrilL with explanatory 
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Dick's Dutch, French and Yankee Dialect Recitations* 

An unsurpassed Collection of Droll Dutch Blunders,Frenciimen's Funny Mistakes,an4 
Ludicrous and Extravagant Yankee Yarns, eacb Recitation being in its own dialect. 



Der Nighd Pehind Grisd- 

mas. 
The Dutchman's Snake . 
Yoppy's Varder und Hees 

Drubbles. 
Dhree £h leaders. 
Katrina Likes Me Poody 

YelL 
Hans in a Fix. 
Lecdle Yawcob Strauss. 
How a Dutchman was Done. 
Dot Lambs vot Mary Haf 

Got, 
The Yankee and the Dutch- 
man's Dog. 
Zwei Lager. 
Schneider's Ride. 
The Dutchman and the 

Small -pox. 
Tiamondts on der Prain. 
A Dutchman's Testimony 

in a Steamboat Case. 
Hans Breitmann and the 

Turners. 

FRENCH DIALECT. 
The Frenchman's Dilemma ; 

or, Number Five Collect 

Street. 
The Frenchman's Revenge. 
Noozell and the Organ 

Grinder. 
How a Frenchman Enter- 
tained John BulL 
Mr. Rogers and Monsieur 

Denise. 
The Frenchman and the 

Landlord. 
The Frenchman and the 

Sheep's Trotters. 



A Frenchman's Account oi 

the Fall. 
I Yant to Fly. 
The Generous Frenchman 
The Frenchman and tht 

Flea Powder. 
The Frenchman and the 

Rats. 
Monsieur Tonson. 
Vat You Please. 
The Frenchman and th* 

Mosquitoes. 
The Frenchman's Patent 

Screw. 
The Frenchman's Mistake. 
Monsieur Mocquard Be 

tween Two Fires. 



DUTCH DIALECT. 
Der Mule Shtood on der 

Steamboad Deck. 
Go Yay, Becky Miller. 
Der Drummer. 
Mygel Snyder's Barty. 
Snyder's Nose. 
Dyin' Yords of Isaac. 
Fritz und I. 

Betsey und I Hafe Bust Lb. 
Schneider sees Leah. 
Dot Funny Leetle Baby. 
Schnitzerl's Philosopede. 
Der Dog und der Lobster. 
Schlosser's Ride. 
Mine Katrine. 
Maud Muller. 
Ein Deutsches Lied. 
Hans and Fritz. 
Schneider's Tomatoes. 
Deitsche Advertisement. 
Yas Bender Heusbpecked. 
Life, Liberty and Lager. 
Der Goot Lookin' Shnow. 
Mr. Schmidt's Mistake. 
Home Asjain. ^ 

Dot Surprise Party. ^ 
Der Wreck of der Hezberus. 
Isaac Rosenthal on the 

Chinese Question. 
R;;n3 Breitmann's Party. 
Shoo Flies. 

A Dutchman's Answer. 
How Jake Schneider "Went 

Blind. 
I Vash so Glad I Yash Here. 
The Dutchman and the 

Yankee. 
How the Dutchman Killed 

the Woodchuck. 

This Collection contains all the best dialect pieces that are incidentally scattered 
through alarge number of volumes of " Recitations and Readings," besides new and 

excellent sketches never before published. 170 pages, paper cover SO cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back 50 cts. 

Dick's Irish Dialect Recitations. A carefully compiled Collec- 
tion of Rare Irish Stories, Comic, Poeticaland Prose Recitations, Humorous Letter* 
and Funny Recitals,all told with the irresistible Humor of the Irish dialect. Containing 
Biddy's Troubles. Irish Coquetry. 

Birth of St. Patrick. The. Irish Drummer, The. 
Bridget O'Hoolegoin's Let- Irish Letter, An. 

Irish Philosopher, The. 

Irish Traveler, The. 

Irishman's Panorama, The. 

Jimmy McBride's Letter. 

Jimmy Butler and the OwL 

King O'Toole and St. Kevin. 

Kitty Malone. 

Love in the Kitchen. 

Micky Free and the Priest. 

Miss Malony on the Chinese 
Question. 

Mr. O'Hoolahan's Mistake. 

Paddy Blake's Echo. 

Paddy Fagan's Pedigree. 

Paddy McGrath and the 
Bear. 

Paddy O'Rafther. 

Paddy the Piper. 



YANEEE DIALECT. 

Mrs. Bean's Courtship. 

Hez and the Landlord. 

Squire Billings' Pickerel. 

Deacon Thrush in Meeting. 

The Yankee Fireside. 

Peter Sorghum in Love. 

Mrs. Smart Learns how to 
Skate. 

Capt. Hurricane Jones on 
the Miracles. 
. The Dutchman and the 
( Yankee. 

The Yankee Landlord. 

The Bewitched Clock. 

The Yankee and the Dutch- 
man's Dog. 

Aunt Hetty on Matrimony 

The Courtin'. 

Ebenezer on a Bust. 

Sut Lovingood's Shirt. 



ter. 

Connor. 

Dermot O'Dowd. 

Dick Macnamara's Matri- 
monial Adventures. 

Dying Confession of Paddy 
M'Cabe. 

Father Mollov. 

Father Phil Blake's Collec- 
tion. 

Father Roach. 

Fight of Hell-Kettle, The. 

Handy Andy's Little Mis- 
takes. 

How Dennis Took the 
Pledge. 

How Put Saved his Bacon. 

Irish Astronomy. 



Paddy's Dream. 
Pat and the Fox. 
Pat and the Gridiron. 
Pat and his Musket. 
Pat and the Oysters. 
Pat's Criticism. 
Pat's Letter. 
Pat O'Flanigan's Colt. 
Patrick O'Rouke and 

Frogs. 
Paudeen O'Raffertv's 

Yyage. 
Peter Mulrooney and 

Black Filly. 
Phaidrig Crbhoore. 
Rory O'More's Present td 

the Priest. 
St. Kevin. 

Teddy O'Toole's SlxBull3. 
Wake of Tim O'Hara, The. 
Widow Cummiskey, The. 



th* 
Say 



the 



This Collection contains, in addition to new and original pieces, all the very best 
Recitations in the Irish dialect that can. be gathered from a whole library of vl Recita- 
tion " books. It is full of sparkling witticisms and it furnishes also a fund of entertain- 

ing matter for perusal in leisure moments. 170 pages, paper cover 30 cts. 

Bound in boards, clot* back . , , 5Q«ts. 



Tambo's End-Men's Minstrel Gags. Containing some of the 

best Jokes and Repartees of the most celebrated u burnt cork " performers of our 
day. Tambo and Bones in all sorts and manner of scrapes. This Book is full of 
Burnt-Cork Drolleries, Funny Stories, Colored Conundrums, Gags and Witty Repar- 
tee, all the newest side-splitting conversations between Tambo, Bones, and the In- 
terlocutor, and will be found useful alike to the professional and amateur performer 
Contents ; 



A Bird that can't be 
Plucked 

Annihilating Time 

At Last 

Bashful 

Bet, The 

Big Fortune, A 

Blackberrying 

Black Swan, The 

Bor.es and his little Game ^ 

Bones and the Monkey 
Tricks 

Tories as a Fortune Teller 

Bones as a Legitimate Ac- 
tor 

Bones as a Pilot 

Bones as a Prize Fighter 

Bones as a " Stugent " 

Bones as a Traveler 

Bones as a Victim to the 
Pen 

Bones as a "Walkist 

Bones assists at the Per- 
formance of a New Piece 

Bones attends a Seance 

Bones finds Himself Fa- 
mous 

Bones gets Dunned 

Bones gets Stuck 

Bones has a Small Game 
with the Parson 

Bones' Horse Race 

Bones in an Affcir of Honor 

Bones in Love 

Bones keeps a Boarding 
House 

Bones on the War Path 

Bones on George Washing- 
ton 

Bones on the Light Fantas- 
tic 



Bones Opens a Spout Shop 

Bones Plays O'Fella 

Bones sees a Ghost 

Bones Slopes with Sukey 
Sly 

Bones tells a "Fly" Story 

Brother will come home to- 
night 

Bones as a Carpet Bagger 

Bones as an Inkslinger 

Bones in a New Character 

Bones in Clover 

Bones' Love Scrape 

"Cullud" Ball, The 

Conundrums 

Curious Boy 

Dancing Mad 

Dat's What J'd Like to 
Know 

Definitions 

De Mudder of Inwention 

Difference, The 

Don't Kiss every Puppy 

"Far Away in Alabam' " 

First White Man, The 

Fishy Argument 

Four-Eleven -Forty- Four 

Four Meetings, The 

From the Poiks 

Girl at the Sewing Ma- 
chine 

Hard Times 

Hard to take a Hint 

Heavy Spell, j\. 

Highfalutin' 

Horrible ! 

How Bones became a Min- 
strel 

How Tambo took his Bit- 
ters 

How to do it 



Everything new and rich. Paper covers 
Bound in hoards, with cloth back 



Impulsive Oration 

Inquisitive 

Jeallusest of her Sect 

Legal Problem, A 

Liberal Discount for Cash 

Manager in a Fix, The 

Mathematics 

Merry Life, A 

Momentous Question 

Mosquitoes 

Music 

Notes 

Ob Course 

Our Shop Girls 

Pomp and Ephy Green 

Presidency on de Brain 

Proposed Increase of Taxes 

Railroad Catastrophe 

Reality versus Romance 

Rough on Tambo 

Sassy Sam and Susie Long 

School's In 

Shakespeare with a Ven- 
geance 

Simple Sum in Arithmetic 

Sleighing in the Park 

Sliding Down the Hill 

Style 

Sublime 

Swearing by Troxy 

Tambo's Traveling Agent 

That Dear Old Home 

"The Pervisions, Josiar " 

Thieves 

Tonsorial 

Toast, A 

Uncle Eph's Lament 

Waiting to See Him Off 

You Bet 

And 40 popular songs and 
dances. 

- SOots, 



Stump 



McBride's Comic Speeches and Becitations. Designed for 

Schools, Literary and Social Circles- By H. Elliott McBride, Author of "McBride's 
Humorous Dialogues," etc., etc. This is one of the very best series of original 
speeches, in Yankee, Darkey, Spread-Eagle and village styles, with a number of 
diverting addresses and recitations, and funny stories, forming an excellent volume 
of selections for supplying the humorous element of an exhibition. Contents : 
An Address to Schoolboys Peter 
Zachariah Popp's Court- 
ship and Marriage 
A Sad Story 

How to Make Hasty Pud- 
ding 
My Matilda Jano 
Courtship, Marriage, Sep- 
aration and Reunion 
Lecture by a Yankee 
A Colored Man's Disco'se 

on Different Subjects 
A Girl's Address to Boys 
McSwinger's Fate 



A Burst of Indignation 
Disco'se by a Colored Man 
A Trumpet Sarmon 
Sarmon on Skilletvillers 
Nancy Matilda Jones 
Hezeklah's Proposal 
About the Billikinses 
Betsy and I are Out Once 

Mere 
A Stump Speech 
About Katharine 
Deborah Doolittle's Speech 

on Women's Rights 
A Salutatory 
A Moarnful Story 

Paper covers, illuminated 
Board covers, illuminated 



Peabody's 
Speech 

Mr. Styx Rejoices on Ac- 
count of a New Weil 
Spring 

Victuals and Drink 

Speech by Billy Higgins on 
the Destruction of His 
Rambo Apple Tree 

A Boy's Address to Young 
Ladies 

An Old Man's Address to 
Young Wives 

Salu-ta-tatu-a-ry 

Valedictory. 



30ets. 
SOcti. 



DBeecliers Recitations and Headings. Humorous, Serious, 



Dramatic. Designed for Public and Private Exhibitions. 



Miss Maloney at the Den- 
tist's 
Lost and Found 
Mygel Snyder's Barty 
Magdalena 

Jim Wolfe and the Cats 
The Woolen Doll 
ite Charity Dinner 
Go-Morrow ; or, Lots 'Wife 
The Wind r„nd the Moon 
Dyin' Words of Isaac 
Maude Mullcrin Dutch 
Moses the Sasry 
Yarn oi the u Nancy Bell " 
Paddy the Piper _ 
Schneider sees "Lech " 
Caldwell of Springfield 
Artemus Ward's Panorcmc 
Tale of a Servant Girl 
How a Frenchman Entcr- 
.tained John Bull 
Tiamondts on der Pratn 
King Robert of Sicily 
Gloverson the Mormon 
De Pint wid Ole Pete 
Pat and the Pig 
The Widow Bedott's Letter 
Paper covers. Price 
Bound in boards, cloth back 



The Cry of the Children 

The Dutchman and the 
Small-pox 

Sculpin 

Bats— Descriptive Recita- 
tion 

A Reader Introduces Him- 
self to an Audience 

A Dutchman's Dolly Yar- 
den 

"Rock of Agos" 

Feeding the Black Fillies 

The Hornet 

The Glove and the Lions 

I Yant to Fly 

That Dog of Jim Smiley's 

The Faithful Soul 

" My New Pittayatees " 

Mary Ann's Wedding 

An Inquiring Yankee 

The Three Bells 

x,ove in a Balloon 

Mrs. Brown on ihc Streets 

Shoo Flies 

Discourse by iboiivOT- SiV 
Bosan 

Without tho ChilurCH 



Contents : 

Sign or Billsmethi's Dan* 
ing Academy 

Der Goot Lookin Shnow 

The Jumping Frog 

The Lost Chord 

The Tale of a Leg 

That West-side Dog 

How Dennis Took the 
Pledge 

The Fisherman's Summons 

Badger's Debut as Ilamiet 

Hezekiah Stole the Spoons 

Paddy's Dream 

Victuals and Drink 

How Jake Schneider Went 
Blind 

Amelia's Young Man 

Mrs. Brown on Modern 
Houses 

Farm Yard Song 

Murphy's Pork Barrel 

The Prayer Seeker 

An Extraordinary Phe- 
nomenon 
'I The Case of Young Bangs 
II A Mule Ride in Florida 



$ Dtrco Shkaders 



30ets. 

50cteu 



Sick's Ethiopian Scenes, Variety Sketches and Stomp 

Speeches. Containing the following Rich Collection of Negro Dialogues, Scenes, 
Farces , End-Men's Jokes, Gags, Rollicking Stories, Excruciating Conundrums, Ques- 
tions and Answers for Bones, Tambo and Interlocutor, etc. Contents; - i 



£'3 Gwine to Jine de Ma- 
sons 
yes' Nail dat Mink to de 

Stable Do' — Oration 
But the Villain still Pur- 
sued Her— A Thrilling 
Tale 
Bones at a Free-and-Easy 
Buncombe Speech 
Shakespeare Improved 
End Gag— Bones and Tam- 
bo 
JL Man of Nerve—Comic 

Sketch 
Dnd Gag— Bones and Tam- 
bo 
Uncle Pete— Darkey Sketch 
The Rival Darkeys 
? .^he Stage- Struck Darkey 
Add Ryman's Fourth of 

July Oration 
Absent-Mindedness — Bones 

and Tambo 
Don't Call a Man a Liar 
The Mysterious Darkev 
Rev Uncle Jim's Sermon 
The 'Possum-Run Debating 

Society 
Tim Murphy's Irish Stew 
Brudder Bones in Love — 

Interlocutor and Bones 
'Lixey ; or, The Old Gum 

Game — Negro Scene 
Brudder Bones' Duel 
Brudder Bones' Sweetheart 
Brudder Bones in Hard 

Luck 
Two Left-Bones and Tambo 
178 pages, paper co\ers 
Bound in board, cloth baek 



Speech on Boils 

How Bones Cured a Smoky 

Chimney 
Sermon on Keards, Hosses, 

Fiddlers, etc. 
Huggin' Lamp-Posts 
Not Opposed to Matrimony 
How Pat Sold a Dutchman 
The Coopers — one Act Farce 
Questions Easily Answered 

— Bones and Tambo 
Examination ia Natural 
History— Minstrel Dia- 
logue 
O' Quirk's Sinecure 
The Widower's Speech 
Bones at a Raffle 
Uncle Pete's Sermon 
Bones at a Soiree — Interlo- 
cutor and Bones 
Speech on Woman's Rights 
Bones' Discovery 
Mark Twain Introduces 
Himself — Characteristic 
Speech 
Speech on Happiness 
Burnt Corkers— Minstrel 

Dialogue 
The Nervous Woman 
The Five Senses — Minstrel 

Dialogue 
The Dutchman's Experi- 
ence 
Essay on the Wheelbarrow 
Bones at a Pic-Nic 
The Virginia Mummy — 
Negro Farce 



Brudder Bones in Clover ' 

Artemus Ward's Advice to 
Husband3 

Wnere the Lion Roareth, 
and tho Wang-Doodle 
Mourneth 

Romeo and Juliet in 1880 

Artemus Ward's Panorama 

Brudder Bones as a Carpet- 
Bagger — Interlocutor and 
Bones 

Major Jones' Fourth of July 
Oration 

Curiosities for a Museum- 
Minstrel Dialogue 

Burlesque Oration on M*a£- 

_ rimony 

B rudder Bones on the Rag- 
ing Can awl 

The Snackin' -Turtle Man- 
Ethiopian Sketch 

Bones' Dream— Ethiopian 
Sketch 

Come and Hug Me » 

Widow O'Brien's Toast 

Scenes at the Police Court 
—Musical Minstrel Dia- 
logue 

Brudder Bones as a Log- 
EGller 

De Pint Wid Old Pete- 
Negro Dialect Recitation 

A Touching Appeal— Dutch 
Dialect Recitation 

Wounded in the Corners 

Darkey Dialogue 

End Gag— Interlocutor and 
Bones 

- 30cts. 
- * • - - . dOett* 



Kavanaugh's New Speeches and Dialogues for Young 

Children. Containing easy pieces in plain language, readily understood 
by little children, and expressly adapted for School Exhibitions and Christ- 
mas and other juvenile celebrations. By Mrs. Russell Kavanaugh. This 
is an entirely new series of Recitations and Dialogues by this author, and 
full of pieces, in her well-known style of familiar simplicity, admirably 
calculated to give the little ones additional opportunities to distinguish 
themselves before an audience. It contains the following: 



Introduction. 

Opening Speech 

Speech for a School Exhibition 

The Parcse (The Fates) 

Which Would You Rather Be? 

Speech for a Tiny Girl 

An Old Story, for a Child 

Speech for a Boy 

A Sudden Revulsion 

Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus. A 

Novel Christmas Festival. 
Hay Celebration. 

Speech of Crowner 

\ Speech of Sceptre-Bearer. 

Speech of Fun 

Speech of Frolic 

Speech of Vanity 

Speech of Modesty 

Speech of Beauty 

Speech of Jollity 

Speech of Boot-Black 

Speech of News-Boy 

Speech of May Queen 

TThe Tables Turned, for a Child 

Speech for a Boy 

Speech for a Small Boy 

Speech for a Very Little Boy. 
The Farmer Boy and the City 

Dude 

The Small Boy 

Transposed 

The Sun and His Satellites. . . 

Speech of the Sun 

Speech of the Moon 

Speech of Mercury 

Speech of Mars 

Speech of Jupiter 

Speech of Saturn 

Speech of Venus 

True Happiness 

Genius and Application 

Five Versus Twenty-five 

Saved from Suicide 

Speech for a Very Small Child 

Three Enigmas 

Tickle his Hand with a Ten 

Dollar Bill 

Speech for a Small Boy 

Beautiful Belles, for several 

Girls 

Beautiful Dudes, for several 

Boys 



Four Little Rose Buds 

A Bouquet 

Ta! Ta! 

.Speech for a Very Little Girl.. 
i Speech for a Very Little Boy . . 

Blood Will Tell 

A Warning 

A Race for Life 

" He is a Brick " 

Speech for a Small Boy 

Watching 

Gold 

i A Touching Incident 

Buy a Broom, for several Girls 
Confusion Worse Confounded. 
A Relentless Tyrant, for a Child 

My Broth er Jean 

The Gratitude of the World.. 

At the Skating Rink 

Dimes ! Oh, Dimes ! 

A Fatal Bait, for a Child 

The Decorated Donkey, for a 

Child 

Tight Times 

The Reason Why , 

A Modern Flirtation 

Country Meeting Talk 

Speech 

Deeds of Kindness 

The Boy's Complaint 

What Not to Do 

Temperance Address 

The Quarrelsome Boy 

An Awful Fly, for a Little One 

Content 

The Winds of the Prairie . . 
Santa Claus' Christmas Tree 

Speech 

The Creator 

Where Did They Go 

The Parting Lovers 

Do Your Best 

Cherish Kindly Feelings . . . 

Advice to Boys 

I Wish I Was a Grown-up . 
No Time Like the Present. . . . 

The Boys We Need 

Summer Vacati on 

MUSIC. 

Three Bi-ight Stars 

Beautiful Belles 

Buy a Broom 



16m^., Illuminated Paper Cover. .... .30 Cts, Boards 



50 cts. 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed* 

Howard's Recitations. Comic, Serious and Pathetic. Col- 
lection of fresh Becitations in Prose an* Poetry, suitable for Annives- 
saries, Exhibitions, Social Gatherings, and Evening Parties . Contents : 



Miss Malony on the Chinese 

Question 
Kit Carson's Ride 
Buck Fanshaw's Funeral 
Knocked About 
Puzzled Dutchman 
Shamus O'Brien 
Naughty Little Girl 
Bells of Shandon 
No Sect in Heaven 
Rory O'Moore's Present 
•'Mother's Fool" 
Queen Elizabeth — a Comic 

Oration 
The Starling 
Lord Dundreary's Riddle 
The Stuttering Lass 
The Irish Traveler 
The Remedy as Bad as the 

Disease 
A Subject for Dissection 
The Heathen Chinee 
Mona's Waters 
A Showman on the Wood- 

chuok 
How Happy I'll Be 
A Frenchman's Account of 

the Fall 
Isabel's Grave 
Parson and the Spaniel 



| An Irishman's Letter 

I Irish Letter 
The Halibut in Love 
The Merry Soap-Boiler 
Tne Unbeliever 
The Voices at the Throne 
Dundreary Proposing 
The Fir eman 
Paul Revere's Ride 
Annie and Willie's Prayer 
A Frenchman on Macbeth 
The New Church Organ 
KatrinaLikes me Poody Veil 
How to Save a Thousand 

Pounds 
How I Got Invited to Dinner 
Patient Joe 

Jimmy Butler and the Owl 
The Menagerie 
Old Quizzle 
Infidel and Quaker 
The La wyer and the Chim- 

ney-S weeper 
Bill Mason's Bride 
Judging by Appearances • 
The'Death's Head 
Betsey and I are Out 
Betsey Destroys the Paper 
Father Blake's Collection 
Blank Verse in Rhyme 



Roguery Taught 

Banty Tim 

Antony and Cleopatra 

Deacon Hezekiah 

The Frenchman and the 
Landlord 

The Family Quarrel— A Dia- 
logue on the Sixteenth 
Amendment 

The Guess 

Atheist and Acorn 

Brother Watkina 

Hans in a Fix 

To-Morrow 

The Hi gbgate Butcher 

The Lucky Call 

Challenging the Foreman 

Country Schoolmaster 

The Matrimonial Buga and 
the Travelers 

Peter Sorghum in Love 

Tim Tuff 

Nick Van Stann 

The Debating Society 

Deacou Stakes 

To Our Honored Dead 

The Dying Soldier 

The Yankee Fireside 

The Suicidal Cat 

The Son's Wish 



16 mo, 180 pages. Paper covers. Price 30 CtS. 

Bound in boards, cloth back 50 Ct3 



Spencer's Book of Comic Speeches and Humorous Recita- 
tions A collection of Comic Speeches and Dialogues, Dramatic Scenes 
and Characteristic Soliloquies and Stories Suitable for School Exhibitions, 
Contents : 



Comic Prologue and Intro- 
duction 

The V ankee Landlord 

His Eye was Stern 

The Goddess of Slang 

Dick, the Apprentice 

Courting in French Hollow 

The Case Altered 

Fox and the Ranger 

The Declaration 

The Warrantee Deed 

A Night's Adventure 

Julia— Comic Love Scene , 

Saying not Meaning 

Negro Burlesque for 3 males 

The Nimmers 

Gucom and the Back-log 

Widow Bedott's Mistake 

How a Bashful Lover " Pop- 
ped the Question" 

Crossing Dixie 

Mv Last Shirt 

The Three Black Crows 

The Barber's Shop 

Paddv O'Rafther 

Decidedly Coo 1 



Frenchman and the Rats 
The Jester Condemned to 

Death 
Kimdred Quacks 
Hans Breirmann's Party 
The Generous Frenchman 
Saint Jonathan 
Stump Speech 
The Rival Lodgers 
The Frerchman and the 

Mosquitoes 
The Maiden's Mishap 
The Removal 
Talking Latin 
Praying for Rain 
Darkey Photographer 
Paddy* and his Musket 
Hezekiah Bedott 
Uncle Reuben's Tale 
Mr. Caudle has been to a 

Fair 
Ch ernist and his Love 
Disgusted Dutchman 
The Frightened Traveler 
Jewess and her Son 
Clerical Wit— True Lies 



Paper covers. Price - . * 

Bound in boards, cloth back. 



The School House 

Daniel versus Dishclout 

Spectacles 

The Pig 

A Stray Parrot 

Dame Fredegonde 

Toby Tosspot 

Courtship and Matrimony 

Rings and Seals 

The Biter Bit 

Pat and the Gridiron 

Barmecide's Feast 

The Coun try Pedagogue 

The Middle-aged "Man and 
Two Widows 

Saratoga Waiter— N egro 
Scene for 2 males 

The Wrangling Pair— a Po- 
etical Dialogue for Male 
and Female 

A Connubial Eclogue 

The Italian from Cork 

Gasper Schnapps' Exploit 

Epilogue— Suitable for Con- 
elusion of aa Entertain- 
ment 

30 cts. 

50 cts. 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed, 
Martine's Droll Dialogues and Laughable Recitations. 

A collection of Humorous Dialogues, Comic Recitations and Spirited 
Stump Speeches and Farces, adapted for School and other Celebrations. 
Contents ; 

The Darkey Debating Soci- 
ety. Dialogue for 2 males 

The Scandal Monger. Dia- 
logue for 2 males and 2 fe- 
males 

Poor Richard's Sayings 

Prologue to " The Appren- 
tice " 

Address in the character of 
11 Rope " A Prologue 

Parody on the Declaration 
of Independence 

Bombastes Furioso. A Bur- 
lesque for 7 males 

Characteristic Address 

Examining de Bumps, Ethi- 
opian Dialogue for 2 males 

Election Stump Speech 

A Matrimonial Tiff. Dia- 
ogue for 1 male and 2 fe- 
males 

The Frenchman and the 
Sheep's Trotters 

188 pages. Paper Covers. Price 30 cts. 

Bound in Boards, cloth back 50 CtS« 



Hints to Amateur Actors. 

Humorous Poetical Address 

The Bell and tbe Gong 

Mrs. Dove's Boarding'House 

The Wilkins Family 

The Lawyer's Stratagem 

Eulogy on Laughing 

Drawing a Long Bow. For 
3 males and 1 female. 

The Origin of Woman's As- 
cendency over Man 

Veny Raynor's Bear Story 

The Game of Life 

The Fortune Hunter. For 
2 males and 3 females 

The Parson and the Widow 

Hezekiah Stubbins' Fourth 
of July Oration 

Make your Wills. Farce for 
7 male characters 

Mr. Rogers and Monsieur 
Denise 

Job Trotter's Secret 



The Poor Relation. Comic 
Drama for 7 males 

Vat you Please 

The Babes in the Wood. For 
3 males and 4 females. 

My Aunt. 

Handy Andy's Mistakes. 

The Cat Eater. 

A Shocking Mistake. Dia- 
logue for 3 males and 2 
females 

Wanted a Governess 

Rival Broom Makers 

Paudeen O'Rafl'erty's Say- 
Voyage 

Mr. Caudle's Wedding Din- 
ner 

Our Cousins. Negro Dia- 
logue for 2 male characters 

Mr. Caudle made a Mason 

Address of Sergeant Buzfuz 

The Wonderful Whalers 

Sam Weller's Valentine 



Wilson's Book of Recitations and Dialogues. Containing 

a choice selection of Poetical and Prose Recitations. Designed as an As- 
sistant to Teachers and Students in preparing Exhibitions. By Floyd B. 
Wilson, Professor of Elocution. Contents : 



In struction in Elocution 
Dedication of Gettysburg 

Cemetery 
Sheridan's Ride 
There's but one Pair of 

Stockings 
Modulation 
Drummer Boy's Burial 
John Maynard, the Pilot 
The Boys 
The Duel 

Lochiel's Warning 
Socrates Snooks 
Mosaic Poetry 
Burial of the Champion of 

his Class at Yale College 
Scott and the Veteran 
Barbara Frietchie 
I Wouldn't— Would You? 
The Professor Puzzled 
Thanatopsis 
The Two Roads 
The Pawnbroker's Shop 
The Sophomore's Soliloquy 
The Nation's Hymn 
Address to a Skeleton 
A Glass of Cold Water 
Little Gretchen ; or New 

Year's Eve 
Good News from Ghent 
The Sea Captain's Story 
Our Heroes 
The Closing Year 
Burial of Little Nell 



The Picket Guard 

The Poor Man and the Fiend 

Our Country's Call 

The Conquered Banner 

The High Tide ; or, the 

Brides of Enderby 
Death of Gaudentis 
Don Garzia 
Past Meridian 
The Founding of Gettysburg 

Monument 
Spartacus to the Gladiators 
Soliloquy of the Dying Al- 
chemist 
The Country Justice 
Unjust National Acquisition 
Dimes and Dollai-s 
Dead Drummer Boy 
Home 
Responsibility of American 

Citizens 
The Jester's Sermon 
Left on the Battle Field 
The American Flag 
Oh ! Why should the Spirit 

of Mortal be Proud ? 
Parrhasius 
The Vagabonds 
A Bridal Wine Cup 
Blanche of Devan's Last 

Words 
Widow Bedott to Elder 

Sniffles 
A Psalm of the Union 



Charge of a Dutch Magis- 
trate 

Stars in my Country's Sky 

Bingen on the Rhine 

Religious Character of Presi- 
dent Lincoln 

The Raven 

The Loyal Legion 

Agnes and the Years 

Cataline's Defiance 

Our Folks 

The Beautiful Snow 

The Ambitious Youth 

The Flag of Washington 

The Abbot of Waltham 

Ode to an Infant Son 

The Scholar's Mission 

Claude Melnotte's Apology 

Forging of the Anchor 

Wreck of the Hesperus 

The Man of Ross 

No Work the Hardest Work 

What is Time ? 

Brutus's Oration over the 
Body of Lucretia 

What is That, Mother? 

A Colloquy with Myself 

St. Philip Neri and the 
Youth 

The Chameleon 

Henry the Fourth's Solil- 
oquy on Sleep 

On Procrastination 

Appendix 



Paper Covers. Price 

Bound in Board, cloth back. 



.30 cts. 
.50 cts, 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
Brudder Bones' Book of Sttunp Speeches and Burlesque 

Obations. Also containing Humorous Lectures, Ethiopian Dialogues, 
Plantation Scenes, Negro Farces and Burlesques, Laughable Inter- 
ludes and Comic Recitations. Contents : 
Bar 



If I may so Speak. 

lesque Oration 
Dr. Pillsbury's Lecture on 

Politics 
Vegetable Poetry. For. 2 

rabies 
Teco Brag's Lecture on As- 
tronomy 
We saw Her but a Moment 
Stocks Up, Stocks Down. 

For 2 males 
Brudder Bones' Love 

Scrapes. 
Stump Speech ; or, "Any 

other Man. " 
War's your Hoss. Dia- 
logue Recital 
Geology. Dialogue for 2 

males 
Tin-pan -o-ni-on. For Leader 

and Orchestra 
Dr. Puff Stuff's Lecture on 

Patent Medicines 
Sailing. For 2 males 
Challenge Dance. For 8 

males 
Lecture on Bad Boys 
Tony Pastor's Great Union 

Speech 
A Tough Boarding House 
Sleeping Child. 2 males 
Ain't I Bight, Eh? Speech 
Wonderful Egg. For 2 males 
Bootblack's Soliloquy 
Lecture to a Fire Company 



Julius' Peaches. For 2 males 
De Trouble Begins at Nine 
The Arkansas Traveler. 

For 2 Yiolin players 
Slap Jack. For 2 Darkeys 
Turkey - town Celebration. 

An Oration 
Uncle Steve's Stump Speech 
A Midnight Murder 
Dat's What's de Matter 
The Freezing Bed Feller 
Mr. and Mrs. Wilkin s 
Paddy Fagan's Pedigree 
The Rival Darkeys. Act for 

2 males 
Hans Sourcrout on Signs 

and Omens 
Hun-ki-do-ris Fourth of July 

Oration 
Josh Billings on Mosquitoes 
History of Cap John Smith 
A Speech on Women 
Impulsive Peroration 
The Bet. For 2 Darkejs 
Old Times gone By. Dia- 
logue for 2 Darkeys 
The Echo. Act for 2 Negroes 
Sol Slocum's Bugle. 
Western Stump Speech 
In the Show Business. Dia- 
logue for 2 males 
"We are." Stump Oration 
Original Burlesque Oration 
Waiting to see Him off. For 
2 males 



Patriotic Stump Speech 

De Railroad Accident. For 

2 Darkeys 
The Dutchman's Lecture 
Prof Unworth's Lecture 
The Three old Ladies 
Josh Billings' Lecture onto 

Musick 
Brudder Bones' Lady-Love. 

Dialogue for 2 males 
Deaf— In a Horn. Act for 2 

males 
Or any oder Man's Dog. A 

Speech 
Happy Uncle Tom 
Stick 'a Pin Dere, Brudder 

Horace 
Lecture on Woman's Rights 
Dat's wol de "Ledger'' says. 

For 2 Darkeys 
Goose Hollow^Stump Speech 
De Milk in de Cocoa Nut 
A Dutchman's Answer 
Lecture on Cats 
The Patent Screw 
The Auctioneer 
Hints on Courtship 
Dutch Recruiting Officer 
Spirit Rappings. Dialogue 

for 2 males 
Dar's de Money 
Let Her Rip, Burlesque 

Lecture 
The Stranger. Scene for 1 

male and 1 female 



16 mo. 188 pages. Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 

Bound in boards, illuminated 50 CtS. 



Dick's Diverting' Dialogues, A collection of effective Dra- 
matic Dialogues, written expressly for this work by various authors, and 
adapted for Parlor Performances. They are short, full of telling " situa- 
tions," introducing easy dialect characters, and present the least possible 
difficulties in scenery and costume to render them exceedingly attractive. 
Edited by Wm, B. Dick. 



Lost and Won 

Eunning for Office 

The Uncle. A Proverb 

Love's Labor.'Not Lost 

Wanted — A Nurse 

Almost A Tragedy 

The WiU. A Proverb , 

Who Wears the Breeches 

A Cold in the Head 

The Wedding Day. A Proverb 



A Society for Doing Good 4 

The Reception. A Proverb 2 

Caught in their Own Trap 2 

Elwood's Decision 

The Report. A Proverb 2 

Reformed Mormon Tippler. . . 3 
The Fortune Hunter. A Proverb | 2 

Petticoat Government 1 

Now or Never. A Proverb .... 1 
A Close Shave I 



Including a complete programme of effective Living Portraits and 
Tableaux, with full directions for exhibiting them successfully. 

Bound in Boards 30 cts. 

Paper Covers ....*....« 50 CtS* 



Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices Annexed. ~ 

■ ■ " ■ ' •■ i , — 1 Mil . 

Dick's Comic and Dialect Recitations. A capital collection 

of Comic Recitations, Ludicrous Dialogues, Funny Stories, and Inimitable 
Dialect Pieces, containing : 

Parson Jinglejaw's Surprise 
Pat's Correspondence 
Pleasures of the Telephone 
Positively the Last Perfor- 
mance — Cockney Dialect 
Raven, The— Dutch Dialect 
Sad Fate of a Policeman 
Scripture Questions 
Sermon for the Sisters, A 
Solemn Book- Agent, The 
That Fire at Nolan's 
That Freckle-Faced Girl 
The Latest Barbara Friet- 

chie— Dutch Dialect 
The Paper Don't Say 
Thikihead's New Year's Call 
Tickled all Oafer 
'Twas at Manhattan Beach 
Uncle Billy's Disaster 
Uncle Mellick Dines with his 

Master — Negro Dialect 
Uncle Remus' Tar Baby 
Uncle Reuben's Baptism 
United Order of Half-Shells 
Waiter's Trials, A 
Warning to Woman, A 
Ways of Girls at the Play 
Western Artist's Accom- 
plishments, A 
Wily Bee, The 
Woman's Description of a 

Play, A 
Sailer Dog, The 



An ^Esthetic Housekeeper 

At the Rug Auction 

Aunt Sophronia Tabor at the 

Opera— Yankee Dialect 
Awfully Lovely Philosophy 
Bad Boy and the Limburger 

Cheese, The 
Barbara Frietchie— Dutch 
Boy in the Dime Museum 
Bric-a-Brac 
Brudder Johnson on 'Lectri 

city— Negro Dialect 
Butterwick'8 Weakness 
By Special Request 
Can this be True? 
Champion Liai*, The 
Conversion of Colonel Quagg 
Cut, Cut Behind— Dutch 
Debit and Credit in the Next 

World 
Der Oak und der Vine 
Der 'Sperience of Reb'rend 

Quacko Strong— Negro 
Der Vater Mill 
Doctor's Story, 
Dutch Advertisement, 
Dutchman and the Raven 
Dutch Security— Dutch 
Early Bird, The 
Gentle Mule, The 
Granny Whar V ou Gwine ? 
Girl of Culture, 
Goin' Somewhere— Yankee 



Go -Morrow, or Lot's Wife 
Hard Witness, A 
Horse that Wins the Race 
How a Woman Does It 
How Buck was Brought to 

Time — Yankee Dialect 
How Uncle Fin had the 

Laugh on the Boys 
Humming Top, The 
fn der Shweed Long Ago 
Inquisitive Boy, The 
Irishman's Perplexity, An 
Jim Onderdonk's Sunday- 
School Oration 
John Chinaman's Protest 
Juvenile Inquisitor, A 
Malony's Will— Irish Dialect 
Mark Twain on the 19th 

Century 
Mickey Feeny and the Priest 
Mine Moder-in-Law 
Mother's Doughnuts 
Mr. and Mrs. Potterman 
Mr. Schmidt's Mistake 
Mr. Spoopendyke Hears 

Burglars 
O'Brauigan's Drill 
Old Bill Stevens 
Old Erasmus' Temperance 

Pledge— Negro Dialect 
Ole Settlers' Meetun 



Original Love Story, An 

Our Debating Club 

Bound in Boards J7 30 cts. 

Paper Covers 50 ct3 . 

Barton's Comic Recitations and Humorous Dialogues. 

Containing a variety of Comic Recitations in Prose and Poetry, Amusing 
Dialogues, Burlesque Scenes, Eccentric Orations, Humorous Interludes 
and Laughable Farces. 

How thev Pop the Question 

The Clever Idiot 

The Knights 

How the Lawyer got a 
Patron Saint 

Josh Billings on Laughing 

Night after Christmas 

A Change of System— for 2 
males and 1 female 

Citizen and the Thieves 



A Prologue to Open an En 

tertainment 
The Stage-Struck Hero 
Here She Goes— and There 

She Goes 
Pastor M'Knock's Address 
Old Sugar's Courtship 
The Bachelor's Reasons for 

Taking a Wife 
The Spanish "Valet and the 

Maid— Dialogue for I male 

and 1 Female. 
The Jackdaw of Rheims 
Jonathan and the English 

man 
Artemus Ward's Trip 
Auctioneer and the Lawyer 
Mr and Mrs. Skinner 
The Bachelor and the Bride 
Drunkard and his Wife 
A Western Lawyer's Plea 

against the Fact 
Reading a Tragedy 
Cast-off Garments 
How to Cure a Cough 
The Soldier's Return 
Countrymen and the Ass 
Come and Go 

Paper Covers. Price 

Bound in Boards, cloth back 



Bogg's Dogs 

The Smack in School 

The Tinker and the Miller's 
Daughter 

An Original Parody 

The Parsons and the Cork- 
screw 

The Old Gentleman who 
Married a Young Wife — 

Stage-StruckDarkey— Inter- 
lude for males 

Goody Grim versus Lapstone 
' —Dialogue for 4 ninles 

The Woman of Mind 

Wanted, a Confederate- 
Farce for 4 males 

Lodgings for Single Gentle- 
men 



Nursery Reminiscences 

The Farmer and the Coun 
cellor 

The Pugilists 

How Pat Saved his Bacon 

The Irish Drummer 

Mike Hooter's Bear Story 

The Critic 

Mr, Caudle Wants a Latch 
Key 

Humbugging a Tourist 

The Widow's Victim— for 2 
males and 1 female 

Josh Rulings on the Mule 

Tinker and the Glazier 

Wonderful Dream— Negro 
Dialogue for 2 males 

An Occasional Address— For 
a Lady's First Appearance 

An Occasional Prologue— 
For Opening a Perfor- 
mance 

Addi-ess on Closing a Per- 
formance 

A Prologue for a Perfor- 
mance by Boys 

An Epilogue for a School 
Performance 

30 cts. 

50 cts. 



GOOD BOOKSv 

Sent Postage-Paid at the Prices Marked. 



Dick's Encyclopedia of Receipts and Processes. $6.1 

Dick's Art of Gymnastics LOO 

Spayth's American Draught Player. 3.00 

American Hoyle; the Standard Book of Games 2.00 

Dick's Games of Patience; or Solitaire with Cards 1.00 

Marache's Manual of Chess 50 

Dick's Hand-Book of Cribbage 50 

Dick's Hand-Book of Whist 50 

The Modern Pocket Hoyle , .50 

Dick's Original Albnm Verses and Acrostics 50 

Dick's Book of Toasts, Speeches and Responses 50 

Barber's American Book of Heady-Made Speeches 50 

\How to Conduct a Debate 50 

The Debater, Chairman' s Assistant, and Rules of Order 50 

North's Book of Love-letters 50 

Dick's Commercial Letter-Writer 50 

Martine's Sensible Letter-Writer 50 

Frost's American Etiquette 50 

Dicks Recitations and Readings— Series— each Vol 30 

Beecher's Recitations ; Humorous, Serious and Dramatic 30 f 

Dick's Dutch, French and Yankee Dialect Recitations 30 

Xavanaugh's Juvenile Speaker, for little children 30 

Dick's Irish Dialect Recitations 30 

Kavanaugh's New Speeches for little children 30 

Brudder Bones' Stump-Speeches and Burlesque Orations 30 

Dick's Comic Dialogues • 30 

Holmes' Very Little Dialogues ••• .30 

McBride's Comic Dialogues .30 

Burton's Amateur Actor • 30 

Hudson's Private Theatricals 30 

Frost's Dramatic Proverbs and Charades 30 

Frost's Tableaux and Shadow Pantomimes 30 

Dick's Parlor Exhibitions 30 

The Parlor Magician 30 

Dick's Palmistry Made Easy jjjj 

Day's American Ready-Reckoner 50 

The American Housewife, and Kitchen Directory 50 

The Amateur Trapper and Trap-Maker's Guide 50 

Dick's Quadrille Call-Book and Bali-Room Prompter 50 

The Banjo and How to Play It £<} 

The Art and Etiquette of Making Love 30 

The Young Reporter ; How to Write Short-Hand ■ 50 

Thimm's French Self-Taught • •*» 

Thimm's German Self-Taught •*» 

Thimm's Spanish Self-Taught.... *5 

The Mishaps and Adventures of Obadiah Oldbuck 30 



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